My Eternal Existence (a novel)

Part One : My Eternal Existence  

The youngest son suddenly cried out when he was sleeping. After a while he woke up. He had tears in his eyes corner. I helped him to sit down on the bed. I gave him a glass of water. He made a posture that he will not drink. I was seeing him surprisingly. He appears to be helpless. He will take some time to be normal. I asked him-

Have you seen any dream?

With no difference of face he answered-

Yes

I wanted to know to him about the dream. I saw his face having no difference. Yet I thought that he wants to tell about the dream. I thought a while and at the moment I did not ask him about it though I was intended to ask about it. He told me that-

Nothing about the dream to be told at night. His mother has told him like this.

When your mother has told it? Whichever you tell and you know are all taught by your mother. Sometimes I think that you have come out of your mother knowing everything.

Without any sensibility he answered-

May be.

Such answer of him appeared to me as the answer of an experienced man. But the most his every time behavior is of like a child.

I told him to go to sleep again. I shall write for some time more. Very clearly he told me that he will not be able to sleep any more. He will remain sitting and be seeing my writings. But I know it very well that within a very little tile he will go on sleep. In the morning he will woke up and then he will ask me as to for how much time he was sitting to see my writings and what hose were. He will also ask me whether I have written anything about his mother. If had written then what it was and why I have written it. He will not be easy until he will know all about this.

The name of my younger son is Murad. He is meritorious. To tell the truth my wife died while giving birth of my this son. Before his birth my wife was quite well in health. But she faced some problems while giving birth of this child and after birth she remained in bed having some physical problems due to birth. She remained in such condition for long time. After suffering for long time she left the world keeping long standing mourn to all of us. It is before five years. I can clearly remember that Murad had been weeping the most of the time while she was dying. He was than seven years old.

My eldest son is Dara. He is now studying law in the Harvard University. Barak Obama, the president of the United States of America was the teacher of this university before his being the president. My son is very much attentive to study. He got may private and government scholarships during his study period. We had communication over from both sides every now and then. When he tells about his mother he can not continue. He weeps. The warm breathe of my crying son at the other side of Atlantic comes to my aged chicks. I can not also talk and we stop talking. Phone talk stops always in this way.

My second son is Suja. He is now remaining in Japan. He has gone to study on higher mobile technology in an engineering university of Tokyo this year obtaining a scholarship of Japan government. He does not talk much, but he is very much intelligent having overall good concept on everything. An event I can tell in this respect. One day while I was in a function with my son I was looking towards a lady not known to me. The lady was not very beautiful, yet had an attractive posture in her that was enough to draw attention of any person. My son was looking the thing. He laughed a little and told-

Dad, the lady has some similarity with my mother.

I could understand him and stopped seeing her. My wife Rebeka was like this. Yet I did not look at her for the second time. My sons want that I should marry again. But that can’t be. I love my Rokeya very much.

I used to tell my wife that if you want to compare me with anybody then does it with the emperors of Mughal Emperors. I also feel satisfied to think me as the Mughal emperor. Rebeka would laugh hearing this. She was a student of history and so could enjoy it. I can not tell whether she would name my sons in the name of Mughal emperors for making joke with me or for love to these names. But, since the matter was not disliked by me so I did not raised any objection to it.

In the morning I called Murad. When he came I told him to take breakfast. He told me that he was in very bad emotion and he will not take any breakfast then.

I became a bit surprised and I wanted to know the reason behind it. He answered in a very clear voice that-

He had dreamt a very bad dream last night.

I wanted to know about the dream.

He answered that if he tells the dream then my mind will be hurt and may be I shall be angry.

I told him strongly that neither I shall be in bad mood nor I shall be angry. So it is better that you will tell me.

Then he answered that-

In the dream his mother has told him “Murad, do you know your father is going to marry again and this lady is trying to occupy the place of your mother.”

Hearing my son I became speechless. How he could understand such a thing in the dream! He was not supposed to know my mind. Yet I became curious and asked him-

“Is that your mother has told you something more?”

He answered-

“Yes, my mother has told me something more.”

I asked him what she has told you more.

He answered-

“My mother has told that this lady will love you much. She will try to make you her own son. But you not be like that. You are my son and you will always remember this.”

I could not understand what should I tell to my son Murad? But I could not call him again to take breakfast. He himself came forward and told me to have the breakfast together.

I became surprised and stared to him with open mouth. The photograph of Rebeka in the wall is now looking to me.

The dream Murad saw was not false. There was private tutor of my son Suja. She was a girl and she does not know when she has started to like me. When the concept was clear to her then it was late and she was unable to return from that place. The reason of her weakness is Murad, not very strong for me. She loves Murad very much and Murad also loves her very much. But Murad was never able to set any other woman in the place of his mother. Murad Believes that her mother is the only woman in the world whom she can call as ‘mother’. In spite of limitless love Sujata was not able to hear the call ‘mother’ from the mouth of Murad. This was an unbearable pain for her.

Sujata was tutor of Dara also. Now she is the tutor of Murad. She is a nice girl and also she was meritorious student. After completion of her study she joined the college considering the teaching profession to be noble one. Dara, Suja could make such brilliant result in their studies for proper supervision and guidance of Sujata. Murad is also being the proper follower of his brothers. I am quite free of anxiety about him. Due to different reasons Sujata has not thought about marriage till date. Noe she has thought and also informed that in her age of fifty I am the only first and last choice in her life. If I do not agree then she will remain unmarried. She wants to get Murad as her son.

Dara called me over phone today. I took the phone and he told in amazing voice-

How are you Dad?

I answered in the same way-

I am well and how you are doing?

Hw answered delightedly-

Not very good.

You are not good, but telling so delightedly! How is that? Tell me the problem.

He told and I understood that the problem is not very serious.

His examination will be started from the next day. But his girl friend Linda is not coming till then. If Linda is not present then he can not be attentive to study. Linda will come and will give a complete idea on his lesson, asked him many question over the total lesson. Then he will be able to understand to what extend he has become prepared for the examination. He is unable to understand before as he has become habituated in this way.

I told him to wait for her and assured him saying that-

- Linda will come soon. She is very much sincere and particular to her duty. She will not miss. But before that you may have a look on your lesson. May be some important thing has not yet been seen or not well prepared on some lessons.

He answered-

You are right Dad. I have not gone through yet on some of the important things. I would have been embarrassed if Linda could learn it. Thank you, Dad. You are a genius.

I told him-

You will remember that I am your father. However, go on through the study and be attentive.

Murad during the whole time of our talking was seeing me. When I stopped he asked me-

What has been told by my Bhaia?

His examination will be started from the next day. You pray for him.

But Bhaia did not tell me about his examination and not even to pray. He appeared to be very cold in voice.

But yet you should pray. He is busy with his study. May be he has forgotten about the matter. But what it matters? You should pray for him.

He is busy with his Linda- He told.

I smiled and he also and told-

Linda is a good girl. She will match with Bhaia. Let them be married.

I did not tell anything to him. I remain staring to him. It appeared to me that the photo in the wall laughed hearing the opinion of her little son.

I had not talked with Suja for the last three days. He is moody, talks less but very cordial. His cordiality is expressed with his less talk and deep voice. Before three days when he called me over phone then he informed me that he will remain very much busy with some research work for some days. So he will be unable to call me and he will call me when his research will be well done. I told him-

If the research is not good even then you will phone me. Life will not be end there. Every end has a beginning next, if you can do that successfully.

He has not told much. He told only that-

Pray for me. May Allah make me successful.

I pray silently for the imaginative Mughal prince Suja. I told everything to Murad and then and then Murad sat on prayer carpet to pray for him. He was praying blessings from his brother Suja. I was seeing him. He was sleeping for his brother. His eye lids were closed. He had the dazzle of purity on his face, that could only be seen on the face of Dervish only. Tears came out of my eyes. I saw the photo of Rebeka. It appeared that she had been laughing. I was surprised. I u7nderstood that she has been laughing seeing my weeping. I told her-

I can not cry. All my tears are taken by sorrows. My eyes are dried desert, two pieces of stone, where there is no water.

Suddenly Murad came to me and asked-

Dad, have ever heard the name of Bob Bemoan?  He made a world record jumping 8.9 feet in Mexico Olympic 1968 and that jump is termed as the highest jump of mankind. This record was unbroken for 23 years.

I asked him-

Where from you have collected this information?

In your personal diary. There is photo of that famous dance, under which you have made a remark like this. Dad, did you ever dream of giving such a big jump in your life?

Yes. I did, but I was unable. Everybody can not do everything. I am not Bob Daemon and so I was unable to jump like him.

He told-

But you have done one thing. Every will not do the same thing. Your name is known throughout the world. This is not a matter to be neglect.

Sujata has come to give lesson to Murad. After reading she will take a little food with me. Murad will go to play badminton with his friend Fardin. He has court within the house. He is a very good boy. He has also played with players of national team. All have praised him telling that it was the finest hands. But Murad does not think much with this. He does not like to think much with anything. He is also a good football and cricket player and also in chess. He is expert also in Table tennis. But nothing that will do. It is difficult to find out his interest. I have not seen him to be determined to anything. He is the boy of all work.

I was reading New York Times. Many things have been written on that Hillary has supported Barak Obama and in order to ensure victory of the party all men have been requested to work unitedly. The basic thing is that due to competition between Obama and Hillary for the candidature there has been a gap been the party workers and how much of that shall be removed with such sudden declaration of Hillary. The matter is not easy. Sujata told the matter is positive. This will bring a positive effect. Men always try to make them correct for a good thing. I was discussing with Sujata while I was taking tea. Murad came after playing and asked-

Still you are talking auntie?

Sujata toild-

Yes. Come and that will make the thing more attractive.

But he did not come. He told that he was very much tired. He told more that-

He has played well today and defeated all of them. This is the answer of the defeat on that day. Fardin also played well. He has made a little wrong shot. If you see then you could appreciate. Sujata answered-

Well. I shall see another day.

Suja called me over phone. He told that he has done well and the mission of study is successful. He told that there is another good news. Japan very is going to float a ship operated by solar power. This will help to reduce fuel problem. This is amazing. This mat bring light to separate dimension against the problem on fuel throughout the world. AQ problem creates a solution. Problem is the root of solution.

I welcomed Suja and that he accepted. He talked with Murad and Murad became very happy. I told him to talk with Dara. He told that after ending talk with me he will phone Dara. He became very happy. My son has become an adult. I looked to the photo of Rebeka. She appeared to be unhappy. We had been forgotten her for some times so she has been sad. Murad told me that-

Dad, it appears that mom has been angry. She has not been told. He told to photo that-

Mom, bhaia has become successful in his first mission. You will bless for him. Rebeka appeared to be laughing. Murad looked towards me. I looked towards Murad. In our laugh there was gloomy freshness with soft moonlight of winter night with fog. My existence became wet with the touch of it.

The condition of the country is not good. Everywhere there is uncertainty. The roots of such uncertainties are not known to anybody and at the same time the probable extension of branches those uncertainties are also not known. If the price hike of daily items is left then all other things are remaining in sustainable condition. Moreover the country is now free from some sudden problems. Hooliganism, footpath possession, toll collectors’ is mostly under control. Yet there are something which become the reasons of worry. All the achievements till date are the outcome of emergency act. These are not the outcome from the democracy. This means these are not permanent outcomes. This is the condition of being silent for being beaten. National election is ensuing. Uncertainty related to this are touching to everybody. The big party leaders are not in same opinion. The leaders are afraid of being arrested. This the signal of storm. The chief advisor and the chief of army appear to be the Pandabs and others appear to be in the party of hundred sons of Dhritarastra.

I am waiting to see what happens next. Sujata is to some extent afraid of the situation. Murad told-

Nothing he will tell now. Let all be waiting to see. Dara and Suja advised to remain careful. Cylinder explosion for putting fire in the vehicle have two things in the front. One is restlessness and the second is the supply of fabricated gas cylinder. These two are risky for life. I thought the businessman connected to this has no fault. Then why he has been killed? Are there no way of expressing the reaction?

Sujata is not waiting for marriage, rather she waiting for my reply. She will agree with me in all respect. She will not do anything which will dissatisfy Murad. Because she wants to come here for the happiness of Murad. A decaying man with the sorrow of his deceased wife being in the age of fifty have very less to give something physical happiness to a lady and is even be u8nderstood by small girl. Yet she wants to come to my life and I think she does not u7nderstand the meaning of such desire. May be a part of this is affection in simulation with emotional effect on body.

I talked with Dara over phone. I asked about the examination and with a sounded laugh he asked me what I can imagine about his examination. I told that-

Definitely the examination was good for you. I hope it.

He told me that Linda has made a mistake, which she taught me correctly.

I became a bit angry and told –

For that you are laughing? You should feel it. She has given much time for you.

Dara told-

The mistake is not very big. This will not affect on her grade and so Linda is not unhappy for that. Please don’t be upset.

I told him-

If Linda is near then please give the phone to her. I shall talk to her.

I could hear the voice of Linda.

Linda is a very good girl. She is American, but having a little Indian sentiment. She will be very much home oriented I think. She is not aggressive. She is good in study also. A number video of Linda has been sent to me by Dara. Her father is an established lawyer and also her mother. They have some social commitments as social worker. Generally a girl of wealthy family becomes of high temperament, but Linda is not like that. She is calm and quite. Linda ants to be a senator in future. She is making herself fit for that from now. I support Linda and I encourage also She becomes very happy. Emotionally she calls me Dad and some times ‘baba’. She laughs. She is a sweet girl. I think she will match with Dara.

I have decided in mind with the end of their studies I shall arrange marriage of them. Opinion of Dara is not yet clearly understood by me. I think he will agree, at least as far as it appears to me.

I walk in the morning. I don’t go with any particular person. Whoever I meet in the way I become his companion to walk. This is my habit. I can make any body a good companion to me as soon as I meet him. I can pass time even with unknown person. I feel no problem. The creator has created me with this nature so far.

But among all these anomalies there are some disciplines within me. Let me tell about Sabbir Shaheb. He comes out to walk with me almost everyday. This is because he likes me and I also like him. A man of good temperament and to tell he is a successful man. All his sons and daughters well educated, have bank balance, own house and transport and also social worker. His wealth is not owned through illegal way. He is a son of wealthy family. He worked hard for his business and he became successful. He has become a wealthy man. I have never seen him to be a proud man. It is not for that he talks with me. He is noble to a poor man also.

To tell the truth Mr. Habib is a good man. Seldom I fail to walk with him. Some day I write throughout night and on that morning I become late and become unable to walk with him. He comes, call me and goes away and when we meet he laughs and forgives me considering a writer.

One day Mr. Sabbir while walking made an introduction to tell me something without looking to me and giving a sound in throat. He told me if I don’t take offence then he wants me to tell something. I tell him to say and he told –

The girl is not bad.

Who is she?

The teacher of Murad.

For whom?

Not for any other person. For you.

Did you understand anything?

Yes, I did.

How did you?

She had been good teacher for three brothers. She gave up her life for your family. She would also be given something.

I have not thought anything like that.

You should and that will not be bad.

Have ever talked with her?

Yes. I meet sometimes on the way. I talked and found a very noble lady.

But how did you became sure that she will like an aged man like me?

The poets are never aged.

Is it?

I laughed and he also and we had nothing more to talk. While we return then he told to think over the matter and also he told that though it is beyond his right yet he told this. It will be good to have one lady in the house. He has known something from Fardin and Murad has told to Fardin. This is not bad. The son has consent, though he feels for his mother, yet he wants to bring someone in the house. A vacant house is not liked by anyone. Besides, he has not got the affection of mother.

He stepped forward a little and then returned. He raised five fingers of his hand and told-

All arrangements shall be done by me. You will only be a bridegroom.

I laughed.

Kutubuddin reached Dhaka sometimes before from his village house. He directly came to my residence from the station. Generally he goes first time to the elder sister’s house then come here. He tells that if he once comes here then he becomes unwilling to get down. Kutubddin is the brother of my wife. He is very simple minded man. To speak the truth he is a good man. Murad loves his maternal uncle very much. When he comes he becomes happy. Uncle also likes his nephew very much Dara, Suja also liked by him. But they remain far now. So, all his joys are around Murad.

Kutubuddin is not much amusing person. But there is a funny sentiment in his hard mind. Suddenly that appears and then he becomes the man of amusement.

Kutubuddin without any introduction asked me-

Dulabhai, are you going to marry again?

I asked him-

Is it? Who told you?

None.

Then how could you know? Is it through angel?

No. This has been told by Murad.

So it is!

I am serious dulabhai. If it is so then alright. I have no objection. Rather I shall be happy. You ought to have think about Murad long before. Anyway I am with you.

Don’t be so serious Kutub. This is not yet settled. But to tell the truth I am thinking the matter and no decision has yet been taken.

But you should take decision. If you want to bring wives of your son then also a lady will needed in the house. Don’t feel about my sister. She is not in the world as she was not supposed to be in the world by the creator.

In fact I have yet taken any decision.

I have come here to help you taking decision. You think over the matter.

Murad has told you everything I see!

He has not made any wrong. This is necessary for the family. Besides, you are not yet aged enough. If you live for hundred years then would it be right to live alone? Living alone is intolerable. It is heavier than a hill.

You have become a philosopher, I see!

Not I am a famous poet like you. Yet I understand some basic thing of life. I am not extremely a fool.

I have not told that.

You think over it and I shall make all arrangements remaining here.

You are a good man.

Everybody tells like that.

They tell the truth.

I don’t know. But you should agree to my proposal.

It was being understood from bending head of Kutub that he was weeping. He went out with the same posture. I understood that he has remembered his sister who has been deceased. The attachment of affection that binded men to each other has not been overcome by us never. Kutub is not any exception from that. I am also become unable sometimes. Just at the moment I am within that sentiment. I can not find out the source and reason as when and how the wave comes out from the deep of heart for Rebeka. I weep like little child. The drops of tears being crystals fall upon the heart made of stone! It has no sound.

The month of Ramadan is ensuing. There are discussion on the role of the government every where. How much the government will be able to control price of the materials and other issues related to the people. Very recently the Beijing Olympic has been end and now the people are discussing about the month of Ramadan and price hike of the daily materials.

There were some amazing events in the last Olympic. One of them was to win the gold in all the events of swimming. He  overcame the previous 7 gold winner Mark Spitz of his country by his winning of 8 gold in the same events and thus he broke the previous record. Besides, there was an unbelievable event of running 100 meters in 9.69 seconds by Usain Bolt. He also won 3 gold in run events. There were also the co9mpetency of winning 2 gold in 100 and 200 meters run events by Jamaican girl Mary An Fresher. A new history has been made in pole vault by Eyelena Esinbayeba crossing record height. In all the sides this arrangement of Olympic by China was unprecedented. Winning number of medals by the Chinese participants was another surprise in the events. China  has occupied respectable place in world athletics. But it is a matter of sorrow that we have not won any medal. 

In comparison to all other years raining was much more this year. Regularly there is raining in the month of may. This is interesting. But the problem is that the most of the roads are high enough. So these roads are submerged with small rain water. Air pollution in the rainy season becomes less. Air remains clear. There is an wet environment, yet acceptable for less pollution. In all there remains a feeling of some type of joy in the mind. It is delightful. The cloud in the sky makes an emotional sense in the mind of all.

Sujata comes regularly for her tuition. She sometimes talks with me. A thing is always surprising to me  and that is her normalcy. She is always very normal. Even she is not embarrassed after opening the matter of marriage being discussed without secrecy. She has taken this house to be her own house. So she does not find anything to be embarrassed. She takes everything very easy. She is found as if that all these things would have happened before and now it has become late. Yet I have never seen her to be busy for her marriage.

Sujata comes of a mediocre family. There are number of sisters and brothers of her. But all of them were meritorious. So she has been required to be much anxious about study of them. But thinking over this matter she has passed the golden age of her life and when and how this has happened she does not know. When she came to the sense in this way then the age was much more for marriage. But this life has given her some type of stability. She seems to be a pond, quite calm and quite. There is no wave. There is emotion, but covered with good sense of consideration.  Her heart never allowed the emotion to cross the limit. She understands that if the free heart moves to some way and not taken by any one then what will be the position for her. Where the young brothers and sisters will go take shelter. She was a brilliant student, but she took this way of life to make the family of her father arranged in this way and she was successful. For this reason the dream of her own life could not be achieved.

Suddenly I decided to go to village house. Murad could understand that this sis some type preparation. He wanted to go with me and both of us became out with car. Murad was sitting by my side and I was driving. The sky was cloudy. Murad was singing hummingly- Hai Barasa/ Emon fagun kerey neona/ Amar priar chokhe jol enona/ Modhur sopon bhenge deona/-----

I told him-

You sing well. I have never seen you singing in such way.

I have not thought much to sing. I felt well and sang. You felt well and heard. Here you are the only listener. If you like then it is well for the singer.

It’s fine.

You hear me. I cannot sing the song so nicely. But you liked it as your mind is now in good mood. We are going to village house after long days. We are now delightful, for which the defects in singing have not attracted your attention. So you have become happy and I am successful as a singer. Dad, the time is determinant factor. In the year 1971 the thing which was sacred duty, now that is hooliganism. But in perspective of that time there was no alternative. Sometimes war becomes necessary and that is for the requirement of the time.

You are right. We are time driven.

May be.

After many days I am standing by the side of graveyard of my parents. I feel my heart heavy. Murad is standing by my side. He is weeping endlessly for his deceased grand parents. I am also weeping. Here lies also the graveyard of my grand parents also. So we cant help to resist weeping for the deceased dearest ones.

We stayed in the village house for two days and then proceeded to Dhaka. A mixed emotion of bad and good are being felt in mind. The mind is burdened with  many memoirs and that trembles like the leaves of paddy.

Mind id burdened with the memoirs. Yet I require to come to practical life. This is life and my philosophy is always dynamic for this reason. I have never bowed my head to the cruelty of life and not even float the mind in the merriment. I have sought satisfaction in work. I left the feather of sorrow and took resort in the consolation. The life with attack of so many hurt in which I have entered and made cover. So I move to the way of life leaving all the pains in sides. I have passed the lion share of life in this way. Fifty years is not enough age, but yet it is called half of the hundred. My father survived for hundred years. He was lucky. He took air and light of the world for one hundred years. He saw the British, Pakistani administration and war of independence and independent Bangladesh. This is not very small thing of life. My father was calm and quite man. I have tried to be like him, but became unable. It is not easy to be not greedy and impartial to life.

News in the newspapers are not good. Rashid, Huda, Mohiuddin and others are relieved of from the case of jail murder. Then who are responsible? Many question will never be unearthed and many answers also. Politics is such a thing. It is like a student with a question paper, answer of which is not known to him. Sometimes I become devoid of any hope and some times I feel not very bad. Only the situations are not good.

There is news that many national leaders have got release from the case of corruption. But everybody of them are released then who will be responsible for the corruption. If there is no liability then why all these cases? Who are being benefited with all these things? Why we are playing drama and for whom? Is he a power not to be seen? Is that the people still do not know their controller? May be it is like this. The mouth and tail of the snake are not in one end. May be there will be anything to go beyond the practicality. The same game once and again. What is the autocracy and what is the corruption?

Part Two : You Are The Idol

I shall not be able to make anybody understand the inner meaning as to how Rebeka came in to my life. All the achievements of love are for the emotion. This is extraordinary within the ordinary. This was very much colorful and dramatic. I become proud of the same when I think over the matter. There was dignity of love in that achievement. This love was outcome from the actual practical sense of life. It was not any imaginative story and now I shall tell the story, as this is now necessary to tell. The dignity of heavenly pearl in the dust of the world was successfully implemented in my love. I am proud of that. This love is my life, my formation. I am the remaining part of that memory, the leftover  part. She has gone with her part and I am remaining with the left out part carrying the essence of her love to make the thing living.

Sajeda is also having the limi9tless eagerness to about Rebeka. She was requesting me since long to know all about of Rebeka. She wanted to know how we had been known to each other, how did the love grown and then marriage. But I have never opened my mouth. But at last I failed and became bound to tell her all about the matters. I felt that she should know about it.

Not only my student life in the university but also throughout my life. I have tried to live in a delightful environment. This was my endeavor and in that I was successful. But I have never thought that my lonely life shall be disastrous. We do not feel emptiness of air within the air. My life was being like a fish in dry field. I was not being able to tell this out of shame. Of course there was none to tell. My lonely life became defeated after coming to new work place, wherein the novelty became unable to give me anything. I was almost in suffocation. I cannot understand whether it would have been possible for me to remain here if I would not get Maleka, the maid servant. She has kept me with her affection and love. I am also giving her more than the dues for want of her love and attachment. She was also giving me in return that I want. Within a very short period I became so much to her I became the only desirable thing to her. This purchased love was losing day by day and in that place a pure attachment was occupying that place, that we could understand.

I pass my leisure period with different discussion with her. I also pass some other time with my work of literacy and hearing songs. Yet I feel something more to desire overcoming all my pleasure. Sometimes I feel it to be thirst and sometimes I feel it to be loneliness. Particularly the night becomes unbearable. My maid servant always become let to go. Not that she remains busy with work, but for an attraction which she also does not know. So she makes late. This attachment is not of only the body, but something more that. My relation with her has not been grown in that way and also she has no such age. She is an aged girl. A tree which have no leaves and branches. The spring and the winter are the same to her. She is now in between the end and the middle of life and flow of life is also week.

Side by side living sometimes brings me very near and similarity. The time and necessity are able to remove a far distance between two in a moment. I have the same relation with her. We have friendly talks, behavior. She tells her life story in a whole and I become an attentive listener. In this way mutual feelings create bride of friendship not parallel to each other, but this had though no any social acknowledgement yet there was a mental acknowledgement since beginning of human relation. May be this will remain in future. The relation beyond the sexuality if become able to protect it from the revenge then may be shall be able to get purity of the temple sometimes. Such deposition without hesitation is absent in the world. I talk with her without any hesitation. The matter of discussion always remains pure and lively. In a certain night my voice had a little trembling. Because I was being ready to her something such which is not acceptable and in true sense of the term it was bad.

I was not being able to find out the way to tell this to her. When I was thinking about the matter then hot air was being come out my ears and nose. But I was not being able to resist and at last I undertook the risk and told easily-

Bua, I want to tell you something, of course if you don’t take it as an offence.

No. I shall not mind anything and what is there to mind. You can tell.

Actually the thing is of different nature. It is not easy to tell.

You tell me. You have none here to tell other than me. So you tell me whichever you like to tell.

In fact, my age is such that it is difficult to remain alone.

Bua laughed hearing it. She has thought I shall tell about marriage.  She became very much eager and it could be understood from her voice. She told-

I understood. You need a wife.

No. It is not possible for me to marry right now. I have some problems. I am telling that if you can arrange a girl who will cook for me and also she will have no objection to make me happy according to my desire. There are many poor and helpless girls. I could help her in many ways. I could be able to make her happy with things as she likes. She would remain well. But at present it is not possible for me to marry. If you can arrange then I shall make you happy. Beside, you have many works and even you can live well without such work. So I am telling you. If please find one. I am facing much trouble to remain alone.

My maid servant remained silent hearing me. There was no sound in the room. We had been hearing the sound of breathe of each other. I have not looked to her face while I was telling. I could not feel this silence and I looked to her and saw that she was looking downward. I told her with my least courage-

Bua would you mind for my telling?

No. Not like that. Let me try. Let me see what can I do for you?

Bua was laughing and seeing this I found courage in mind and entered my hand to pocket. I brought 2 two hundred taka note and gave her. I told her-

This money is for your searching fee. This is very small amount. However I shall give you more. She did not take the money. She told-

No. Not now. If I can do work for you then I shall take.

Alright Bua. But mind it. Then you will not deny me.

I shall not forget. -Bua answered.

In that night we could not continue talking. After going my maid servant I put off the light and went the bed. I was feeling very much bad. This is the first time in my life that I am going to arrange a thing which is not good. It is a sin. I felt myself a criminal. I felt the night lonely night with its wide open mouth is coming to swallow me. At some time I went to sleep. In a dream I became attached with a girl unknown to me and I woke up. I drank a glass of cold water and then again went to the bed. I woke up hearing a sound of calling bell. I became annoyed and a bit angry opening the door. A man from the village with a discolored bag in hand is standing at the door as an accused. He was wearing a shirt and pant not matched with his body. He was so skeleton that I became afraid. However he came forward and asked me-

Is it the house of  Mr. Zafor?

Just other side of the road- I told him.

Thank You and sorry for making annoyed in the morning. I was not being able to find out.

It’s all right.

I was thinking to close the door to go to bed again, but suddenly my mind changed. I went to the bathroom, had tooth brush and was thinking as to why my maid servant (Bua) is not coming. She comes right at this time. However I left the thought and wiping mouth with towel opened the cassette player. I head the dong of Begum Akter in her unprecedented voice. She was singing --- A moushume parabashey--. I took a translated collection of the contemporary poems of France. I tried to go to the deep of poems of Jean Terdiu, translated by Gurupada Chackraborty:

What I tell, what I think

The day tries to show own face

That brings tiredness to friends

Let us agree, let us agree.

But the false night goes mixed

In our every glance

Hurt it under the lid of eyes

Walk on chest surround

Different materials surrounding me

It’s an anxiety much

This thing which is

Neither day nor night

Not even have name

Tell me silently

So I tell you

It is good not to tell

Anything here.

Again the calling bell rang. Maleka Bua is standing at the door with a bunch of anxiety in the soft moment of the morning. She was deeply concern like the first day but the deepness is much more. She was standing a little far. A white stone made idle within the abundant air. I looked at a glance and told bua to come in and I sat on my bed. Bua entered the room with uneasiness. She came and stands by the side of the door. My eyes followed her again with silent delight.

She was standing catching the door in such way that this door is the only resort of her in this world. This part of wood also as if felt grateful with the touch of this girl. I was feeling well to think the wood part of the door to be a guardian of this helpless girl. The girl is trying to hide all her shame and embarrassment under the support of this door. The side of her face that was being open to my eyes was not representing the beauty of the girl but it was the glance of her beauty and stating that she is a beautiful girl. I was not so hopeful. But in this place far from my own household was really the sign of good luck to me. The girl who has come here may not have the quality of amazing me to the high extent but definitely she has such beauty that was well enough to delight me. I saw her fully at a glance. I thought beyond my sense I uttered a sound and that was ‘Banalata Sen’. Then is it that girl for whom the men have walked for thousands of miles and will walk in future also. I had nothing to say to her as I have saw her with satisfaction. She was not saying anything and that silence made my bua a little embarrassed to me. She called me to a side and called slowly in low voice-

She is a very good girl. She has no parents, remains with me and very shy in nature. She does not understand well about the body nature and its activities, but if she is taught then she will be able to comply. She can cook well. This is the first time she is out of the surroundings. She has read up to class eight. But now I am being unable to maintain her. She will remain a good girl, but if rebuked then she will be sad. She will not tell anything, not even responding to beating. You ate lucky.

Bua told this long version at a stretch and after completing she breathe a high. She was happy that she could tell everything she had to tell and could tell in such good manner. I was unable to tell anything. I became happy and with that happiness I gave two five hundred taka note to the hands of bua. Bua became surprised as she did not expect to such extent. I told her-

I have become very much happy. She will remain here with care. I shall take all care of her. I shall give whichever she will want. You may not be worry.

Bua could not tell anything more. She went out. But before going out she caught the hands of the girl, looked towards her face for some time and then without telling anything she went out. The girl also started to bua for some times. I was unable to understand ever that a sad looking without any word may be so explanatory. I could understand that this expression of eyes will be enough to drown me to unlimited depth of emotion.

I could understand that the girl has come knowing everything. She has been explained her duties here. So it appeared that though she is a bit shy yet she is ready for her duty here. Her fear and desire like a waiting girl for the bridal night is appeared in her face and eyes.

I prepared myself to talk with her sweetly as far as possible. I could not explain my laugh as it appeared to me as the laugh of lusting man. I thought that the girl is standing bow head and she will not be able to see the expression of my mind. But immediately after I thought that girls have eyes throughout the body. I became a bit hesitating. I told her to sit in front of me on a chair. I could not understand whether she was able to hear me or not. I told her again. l She sat with biting her lips with teeth. After a little silence I talked first. I thought that she will have nothing to tell now. Since she is new here so it is my responsibility to make her ready for all works here and to that effect I shall have to tell her everything. I was going to tell and at that time she told first-

Why did you not get yourself married? Is it not an offence?

I found nothing to tell her and so told-

Have you objection to remain here?

No. If that would be then I would not come. Besides, the objection or agreeability are not the determinant of offence. This is the question of norm. Leave all it. Maleka auntie has told me everything. You will have no problem. I have come here knowing everything.

I think you are not being able to accept the thing.

May be or may not be. I am not sure which of these is correct. I need a shelter a shed on the head. My auntie was my shed till date. Now I have been grown up and the shed of auntie is not enough for me and not even her company is applicable and complementary to me. She has not all the things I require now and so I have right to forward my hands for that I want. I am not telling you to marry me and should not dare to tell like that. So you may remain without worry. I have come here knowing everything and considering my necessity. I have not yet got the opportunity to think over the matter of your necessity.

Tour attitude to life in nice. You have clear sense of thinking and I am delighted. You can tell everything without any hesitation.

Please show me the kitchen. I want to complete the cooking first and then after bath I shall serve those to eat. I think there is no much work to do here. I like to work hard and when I have nothing to do for me then I use to do work for others. I feel very much uneasy to remain idle.

I told her to come with me. She came following me like a shadow and entered the kitchen. There was nothing more to teach and show there. One can understand easily. Yet I tried to make her something to understand. When started to return back then she became surprised. I laughed and asked her-

I have not yet learnt the name of yours.

Rebeka.

What is your name?

Shafiqur Rahman. Of course I am known as Shafique.

Thank you. – she expressed herself in this way and I did the same. After that I came to my bed room and kept my head on the pillow and then the door of the memory opened suddenly. I could remember the first day I came to this town.

The first day when I cam to this town then this town appeared to me as very calm and quite. So this town was unimportant and lifeless at my first assessment. But slowly I felt that my idea is not fully correct. Very slowly I could come to a sense that this town has also a life and that has pulse bit and in source of that there is also a heart.

The basis of this town is its commercial activity. All retailers and wholesalers of the necessary items of the locality are available here and also distributed from here to different location. There are two particular days when in this place held big market days in a week. Many materials from different part of the locality come here. There remains many buyers. This small town becomes crowded with presence of numbers of buyer and sellers. But the particular thing is that though there was some characteristics of the town yet I was not being able to assimilate with those with me. I was unable to assimilate heart bit of me with the heart bit of this town.

This problem was particularly of my personal.  Suddenly I have come out of my own circle and for that reason I was not being able to be normal with the life of this town. I had no relation in this town, not even a known person to whom I could share my concept and feelings. This loneliness of me made me alone and everything less not much extent to outward but in extent to inner feelings. I was for unknown reason being unable to be friend to other and any other person was also not being able to be friend to me.

This is a serious problem and if you have been ever in such problem then you will understand my condition. In such situation you will not find any one to tell anything of you and on the other hand none will also find you to tell his matter to you.  You will feel that you are standing on the hot sand of the desert losing the way out. Though you will find the sunlight with its own character is passing the way yet to you this passing of life will mean a dangerous situation to you. You will feel that you are alone in the crowd and you are different from others. In fact you will feel that you are alone in a number of men and you will then feel you as an idiot. My condition was like this. I think I have become unable to explain my condition correctly.

I was thinking while I was in bed and at some time there became a break. After some time when the girl came with wiping her wet hairs after bath then I looked to her completely. I liked to compare her with a wet lotus.

In a low voice she told-

The table is ready. Will you eat now?

Yes. I feel well to eat while the food is hot.

She laughed. May she has made a different meaning of my words. I liked it.

Wile eating we had been talking. Some of the talk was personal and some were of daily affairs. Meanwhile life and youth also associated with our talk. Whichever it is I felt that she has some type of deepness in all her thought and life style and those made me attentive to her. I was being surprised. She is a girl rural area town. How she could find and understand the deepness of the life?

After having meal I stood up and got ready to go to the office. I told her and advised also about the works to be done in my absence and this was necessary for her to know. I could understand that since now she will have to see the household affairs of me like undeclared wife. I did not tell much and went out. I felt she needs some time to remain alone to think whole thing which are being gone to be happened in her life.

I was feeling different today the out world. In fact everything was correct and normal, as usual. The which are not arranged were the conditions of my mind. But everybody will be able to understand that this delight of my mind and disarrangement are all the outcome of my mind and that was not bad. After many I felt a wave in my heart. Restlessness and gloominess in my mind have been removed and there appeared a different type of happiness and that being a flock of pigeon turned there wings to the heaven. In fact this girl has become able to touch to the softest place of my heart within such short time. I felt that I am going to be attached with something.

The happiness of that day is still touching my existence with same appeal. However without any delay we had been married. She was continuing her studies. When Dara was born then the result of her Masters Course was completed.

 Part Three : Yet, The Life

Sarah Palin has got nomination to the post of Republican Vice President. Time will say how she will be as the running mate of McCain. But she has already created a sentiment among the people. Though this running for the Alaska’s governor will not be easy yet this lady who has crossed marathon within four hours is not so easy to be defeated. She has stamina. Former Miss Peasant Alaska Champion, Miss Alaska Champion, Mayor of Alaska and the present governor is the student of political science. She was a very good basket ball player and record winner of the last moment have many plus points. Once she would have been called ‘Sarah Barkuda’ for making stress play. It is needless to tell that the democrats will have to burn a lot of straws to manage this lady. Most of all she has thrown a lively challenge to senator Joe Beden and that is now the subject matter of discussion throughout the world. She created sensation in the nomination. It is true that the standard bar is now bending towards the Republicans in the country.

On the other hand the condition of our own country has turned to different direction. VIP prisoners are being released one after another. The matter is of happiness to those who are being released. The release of the politicians is good for the democracy and so for us. But the problem is that such release without judgment after taking into custody is a matter of question to the people of the country. Are all these right? In this way the good men are being worried and the men who have been taken under custody for crime will start their activities again with double encouragement. Shall it be possible to put them under conviction again? When they are released then this is being proved that they were not offenders. If they are not offenders then why they were harassed.

Suddenly activities on right have been increased at present. Two books are under preparation and so the pressure is high. But I am surprised that under this circumstances also the brain is working well. Though work pressure is high yet no additional pressure is being felt in brain, rather I am feeling good. Seeing the speed of writing I am able to understand that this will not take much time to complete the work. I have told it to the publisher and the publisher has become very happy.

Suddenly Mr. Sabbir came to my residence in the evening. He laughed and told-

Came here to drink tea. Is there any problem?

I laughed and told-

Yes. There is problem.

He became surprised and told-

What is that?

You told in such manner that you have entered into a tea stall. Is right to tell so much only to drink a cup of tea?

He laughed loudly and told-

I thought that there ma some problem. I was unable to enjoy your telling.

Sujata wanted to know my decision and without any hesitation I told her my consent. Murad without delay informed all his brothers the matter over phone. Two brothers wanted to know the date. Murad to0ld in his low voice that-

The date is not fixed yet. When the date will be fixed then he will inform them.

Kutubuddin became very happy. Mr. Sabbir also became happy. I was not aloof from thinking over the matter as yet. Murad could understand and from himself told to me-

I am ready to call her ‘mother’.

I was unable to understand HOW Sujata became able to manage Murad to be her own son

I laughed and Murad also laughed.

Dara called me over phone today. I took the phone and he told in amazing voice-

How are you Dad?

I answered in the same way-

I am well and how you are doing?

Hw answered delightedly-

Not very good.

You are not good, but telling so delightedly! How is that? Tell me the problem.

He told and I understood that the problem is not very serious.

His examination will be started from the next day. But his girl friend Linda is not coming till then. If Linda is not present then he can not be attentive to study. Linda will come and will give a complete idea on his lesson, asked him many question over the total lesson. Then he will be able to understand to what extend he has become prepared for the examination. He is unable to understand before as he has become habituated in this way.

I told him to wait for her and assured him saying that-

- Linda will come soon. She is very much sincere and particular to her duty. She will not miss. But before that you may have a look on your lesson. May be some important thing has not yet been seen or not well prepared on some lessons.

He answered-

You are right Dad. I have not gone through yet on some of the important things. I would have been embarrassed if Linda could learn it. Thank you, Dad. You are a genius.

I told him-

You will remember that I am your father. However, go on through the study and be attentive.

Murad during the whole time of our talking was seeing me. When I stopped he asked me-

What has been told by my Bhaia?

His examination will be started from the next day. You pray for him.

But Bhaia did not tell me about his examination and not even to pray. He appeared to be very cold in voice.

But yet you should pray. He is busy with his study. May be he has forgotten about the matter. But what it matters? You should pray for him.

He is busy with his Linda- He told.

I smiled and he also and told-

Linda is a good girl. She will match with Bhaia. Let them be married.

I did not tell anything to him. I remain staring to him. It appeared to me that the photo in the wall laughed hearing the opinion of her little son.

I had not talked with Suja for the last three days. He is moody, talks less but very cordial. His cordiality is expressed with his less talk and deep voice. Before three days when he called me over phone then he informed me that he will remain very much busy with some research work for some days. So he will be unable to call me and he will call me when his research will be well done. I told him-

If the research is not good even then you will phone me. Life will not be end there. Every end has a beginning next, if you can do that successfully.

He has not told much. He told only that-

Pray for me. May Allah make me successful.

I pray silently for the imaginative Mughal prince Suja. I told everything to Murad and then and then Murad sat on prayer carpet to pray for him. He was praying blessings from his brother Suja. I was seeing him. He was sleeping for his brother. His eye lids were closed. He had the dazzle of purity on his face, that could only be seen on the face of Dervish only. Tears came out of my eyes. I saw the photo of Rebeka. It appeared that she had been laughing. I was surprised. I u7nderstood that she has been laughing seeing my weeping. I told her-

I can not cry. All my tears are taken by sorrows. My eyes are dried desert, two pieces of stone, where there is no water.

Suddenly Murad came to me and asked-

Dad, have ever heard the name of Bob Bemoan?  He made a world record jumping 8.9 feet in Mexico Olympic 1968 and that jump is termed as the highest jump of mankind. This record was unbroken for 23 years.

I asked him-

Where from you have collected this information?

In your personal diary. There is photo of that famous dance, under which you have made a remark like this. Dad, did you ever dream of giving such a big jump in your life?

Yes. I did, but I was unable. Everybody can not do everything. I am not Bob Daemon and so I was unable to jump like him.

He told-

But you have done one thing. Every will not do the same thing. Your name is known throughout the world. This is not a matter to be neglect.

Sujata has come to give lesson to Murad. After reading she will take a little food with me. Murad will go to play badminton with his friend Fardin. He has court within the house. He is a very good boy. He has also played with players of national team. All have praised him telling that it was the finest hands. But Murad does not think much with this. He does not like to think much with anything. He is also a good football and cricket player and also in chess. He is expert also in Table tennis. But nothing that will do. It is difficult to find out his interest. I have not seen him to be determined to anything. He is the boy of all work.

I was reading New York Times. Many things have been written on that Hillary has supported Barak Obama and in order to ensure victory of the party all men have been requested to work unitedly. The basic thing is that due to competition between Obama and Hillary for the candidature there has been a gap been the party workers and how much of that shall be removed with such sudden declaration of Hillary. The matter is not easy. Sujata told the matter is positive. This will bring a positive effect. Men always try to make them correct for a good thing. I was discussing with Sujata while I was taking tea. Murad came after playing and asked-

Still you are talking auntie?

Sujata toild-

Yes. Come and that will make the thing more attractive.

But he did not come. He told that he was very much tired. He told more that-

He has played well today and defeated all of them. This is the answer of the defeat on that day. Fardin also played well. He has made a little wrong shot. If you see then you could appreciate. Sujata answered-

Well. I shall see another day.

Suja called me over phone. He told that he has done well and the mission of study is successful. He told that there is another good news. Japan very is going to float a ship operated by solar power. This will help to reduce fuel problem. This is amazing. This mat bring light to separate dimension against the problem on fuel throughout the world. AQ problem creates a solution. Problem is the root of solution.

I welcomed Suja and that he accepted. He talked with Murad and Murad became very happy. I told him to talk with Dara. He told that after ending talk with me he will phone Dara. He became very happy. My son has become an adult. I looked to the photo of Rebeka. She appeared to be unhappy. We had been forgotten her for some times so she has been sad. Murad told me that-

Dad, it appears that mom has been angry. She has not been told. He told to photo that-

Mom, bhaia has become successful in his first mission. You will bless for him. Rebeka appeared to be laughing. Murad looked towards me. I looked towards Murad. In our laugh there was gloomy freshness with soft moonlight of winter night with fog. My existence became wet with the touch of it.

The condition of the country is not good. Everywhere there is uncertainty. The roots of such uncertainties are not known to anybody and at the same time the probable extension of branches those uncertainties are also not known. If the price hike of daily items is left then all other things are remaining in sustainable condition. Moreover the country is now free from some sudden problems. Hooliganism, footpath possession, toll collectors’ is mostly under control. Yet there are something which become the reasons of worry. All the achievements till date are the outcome of emergency act. These are not the outcome from the democracy. This means these are not permanent outcomes. This is the condition of being silent for being beaten. National election is ensuing. Uncertainty related to this are touching to everybody. The big party leaders are not in same opinion. The leaders are afraid of being arrested. This the signal of storm. The chief advisor and the chief of army appear to be the Pandabs and others appear to be in the party of hundred sons of Dhritarastra.

I am waiting to see what happens next. Sujata is to some extent afraid of the situation. Murad told-

Nothing he will tell now. Let all be waiting to see. Dara and Suja advised to remain careful. Cylinder explosion for putting fire in the vehicle have two things in the front. One is restlessness and the second is the supply of fabricated gas cylinder. These two are risky for life. I thought the businessman connected to this has no fault. Then why he has been killed? Are there no way of expressing the reaction?

Sujata is not waiting for marriage, rather she waiting for my reply. She will agree with me in all respect. She will not do anything which will dissatisfy Murad. Because she wants to come here for the happiness of Murad. A decaying man with the sorrow of his deceased wife being in the age of fifty have very less to give something physical happiness to a lady and is even be u8nderstood by small girl. Yet she wants to come to my life and I think she does not u7nderstand the meaning of such desire. May be a part of this is affection in simulation with emotional effect on body.

I talked with Dara over phone. I asked about the examination and with a sounded laugh he asked me what I can imagine about his examination. I told that-

Definitely the examination was good for you. I hope it.

He told me that Linda has made a mistake, which she taught me correctly.

I became a bit angry and told –

For that you are laughing? You should feel it. She has given much time for you.

Dara told-

The mistake is not very big. This will not affect on her grade and so Linda is not unhappy for that. Please don’t be upset.

I told him-

If Linda is near then please give the phone to her. I shall talk to her.

I could hear the voice of Linda.

Linda is a very good girl. She is American, but having a little Indian sentiment. She will be very much home oriented I think. She is not aggressive. She is good in study also. A number video of Linda has been sent to me by Dara. Her father is an established lawyer and also her mother. They have some social commitments as social worker. Generally a girl of wealthy family becomes of high temperament, but Linda is not like that. She is calm and quite. Linda ants to be a senator in future. She is making herself fit for that from now. I support Linda and I encourage also She becomes very happy. Emotionally she calls me Dad and some times ‘baba’. She laughs. She is a sweet girl. I think she will match with Dara.

I have decided in mind with the end of their studies I shall arrange marriage of them. Opinion of Dara is not yet clearly understood by me. I think he will agree, at least as far as it appears to me.

I walk in the morning. I don’t go with any particular person. Whoever I meet in the way I become his companion to walk. This is my habit. I can make any body a good companion to me as soon as I meet him. I can pass time even with unknown person. I feel no problem. The creator has created me with this nature so far.

But among all these anomalies there are some disciplines within me. Let me tell about Sabbir Shaheb. He comes out to walk with me almost everyday. This is because he likes me and I also like him. A man of good temperament and to tell he is a successful man. All his sons and daughters well educated, have bank balance, own house and transport and also social worker. His wealth is not owned through illegal way. He is a son of wealthy family. He worked hard for his business and he became successful. He has become a wealthy man. I have never seen him to be a proud man. It is not for that he talks with me. He is noble to a poor man also.

To tell the truth Mr. Habib is a good man. Seldom I fail to walk with him. Some day I write throughout night and on that morning I become late and become unable to walk with him. He comes, call me and goes away and when we meet he laughs and forgives me considering a writer.

One day Mr. Sabbir while walking made an introduction to tell me something without looking to me and giving a sound in throat. He told me if I don’t take offence then he wants me to tell something. I tell him to say and he told –

The girl is not bad.

Who is she?

The teacher of Murad.

For whom?

Not for any other person. For you.

Did you understand anything?

Yes, I did.

How did you?

She had been good teacher for three brothers. She gave up her life for your family. She would also be given something.

I have not thought anything like that.

You should and that will not be bad.

Have ever talked with her?

Yes. I meet sometimes on the way. I talked and found a very noble lady.

But how did you became sure that she will like an aged man like me?

The poets are never aged.

Is it?

I laughed and he also and we had nothing more to talk. While we return then he told to think over the matter and also he told that though it is beyond his right yet he told this. It will be good to have one lady in the house. He has known something from Fardin and Murad has told to Fardin. This is not bad. The son has consent, though he feels for his mother, yet he wants to bring someone in the house. A vacant house is not liked by anyone. Besides, he has not got the affection of mother.

He stepped forward a little and then returned. He raised five fingers of his hand and told-

All arrangements shall be done by me. You will only be a bridegroom.

I laughed.

Kutubuddin reached Dhaka sometimes before from his village house. He directly came to my residence from the station. Generally he goes first time to the elder sister’s house then come here. He tells that if he once comes here then he becomes unwilling to get down. Kutubddin is the brother of my wife. He is very simple minded man. To speak the truth he is a good man. Murad loves his maternal uncle very much. When he comes he becomes happy. Uncle also likes his nephew very much Dara, Suja also liked by him. But they remain far now. So, all his joys are around Murad.

Kutubuddin is not much amusing person. But there is a funny sentiment in his hard mind. Suddenly that appears and then he becomes the man of amusement.

Kutubuddin without any introduction asked me-

Dulabhai, are you going to marry again?

I asked him-

Is it? Who told you?

None.

Then how could you know? Is it through angel?

No. This has been told by Murad.

So it is!

I am serious dulabhai. If it is so then alright. I have no objection. Rather I shall be happy. You ought to have think about Murad long before. Anyway I am with you.

Don’t be so serious Kutub. This is not yet settled. But to tell the truth I am thinking the matter and no decision has yet been taken.

But you should take decision. If you want to bring wives of your son then also a lady will needed in the house. Don’t feel about my sister. She is not in the world as she was not supposed to be in the world by the creator.

In fact I have yet taken any decision.

I have come here to help you taking decision. You think over the matter.

Murad has told you everything I see!

He has not made any wrong. This is necessary for the family. Besides, you are not yet aged enough. If you live for hundred years then would it be right to live alone? Living alone is intolerable. It is heavier than a hill.

You have become a philosopher, I see!

Not I am a famous poet like you. Yet I understand some basic thing of life. I am not extremely a fool.

I have not told that.

You think over it and I shall make all arrangements remaining here.

You are a good man.

Everybody tells like that.

They tell the truth.

I don’t know. But you should agree to my proposal.

It was being understood from bending head of Kutub that he was weeping. He went out with the same posture. I understood that he has remembered his sister who has been deceased. The attachment of affection that binded men to each other has not been overcome by us never. Kutub is not any exception from that. I am also become unable sometimes. Just at the moment I am within that sentiment. I can not find out the source and reason as when and how the wave comes out from the deep of heart for Rebeka. I weep like little child. The drops of tears being crystals fall upon the heart made of stone! It has no sound.

The End