THE ODOR UNLIMITED
If we would know about our extent of hatred to each other then we might
be mad. We would be unable to see each other and our existence of living
together would be impossible. In the concealment of laugh of ours we have so
many ugly thoughts to each other. Our rotten mentality remains under the cover
of our dress. We want to hide all our ugly thoughts to each other under the
smell of false scent. We do all our evil works under disguise of being good
man. In all the stages of life our behavior is ugly than that of the animals.
Yet we live and live well. We claim not to be man only, but a good and fair
man. If we would know how much hatred the claim of ours then we would die out
of shame. But we are committed that we shall not think over these matters.
Because these will bring loss to us and we do not want to sustain loss. We want to win only. Deception, falsification
and untruth are the matter of competence. We are the leaders of the society and
we are the men in true sense of the term.
May be my wife, Nelly, is the most hatred woman to me in the world,
possibly I am also to her in the same position. But I believe that she is not
quite aware about tremendousness of my hatred to her. If this would have been
so then she would leave my this time and started living with my friend Zamal.
Nelly loves Zamal very much. In this age of her the silliness which she does
with Zamal is known to me. She is not married to Zamal, yet they behave in
their delightful moment to each other as if they are husband and wife. They
love each other like young ones. They kiss each other again and again and
becomes bewildered to each other every now and then. They have emotional
crazes, love and then come to the primitive end of all these things. They think
that I can not understand anything. But there is no reason not to understand
the thing at all to me. The same things also happens to my life. I have also
such close relationship with the wife of Zamal. So it is easy to understand the
whole thing by me. We also think that Zamal and Nelly do not understand this
close relationship of us. But that is not fact. We all understand each other.
We understand the relationship of such type, but we can not tell it openly. We
hide all these things under the cover of modernity. We try to live well within
the surroundings of all abnormalities. We have gone to such level of our taste
that it is now perversion and we have no more step to go down under this level.
Zamal is my friend and I am also to him and we share all our well and
woes. If any67thing is good to him then he informs me and I felicitate in
return and that has no cordiality. Of course when the things are bad to ones,
then generally we don't inform each other. We had to know them after trying. In
such cases, we know, we become more delighted than to be sympathetic to each
other and this is also known by us. But when we come to know then we express
our sorrow over telephone. What an ugly thing! The deception should also has
its end, but here there is n end. This is an ugly thing of hatred with no
comparison.
I know when Zamal is out of he residence. Because Saima informs me his
absence. This is because she needs me as I also need her for me. Now it is not
limited to bodily attachment. this is also now is of mentality. This is a
retaliation. Some false self satisfaction and some perversion I know. So I find
time for Saima even when I am too much busy with my work. I response to her
call. The lunch which I was supposed to have with my wife Nelly in the
residence is taken in the residence of Zamal keeping my head on the lap of
Saima. This is not the age to have food keeping head on one's lap and even I
have forgotten as to how much before that last day was when I had my head on
the lap of my mother to get food. But now what a rubbish of us at present now?
As if the aged boy and girl. If this would have been with the wife then this
could find a reason. But it is not like that. This is being done with the wife
of other. So rubbish and nasty! But we are now deeply attached with this. I can
tell every pros and con of the body of Sama and at the same time I am sure that
Zamal will also be able to tell about all ins and out of the body of Nelly more
than me. It is because he is more irresistible, has different attitude and eyes
to see. And for me, it is long days I have not attached with the body of Nelly.
I like the things to play with which is used by another for the same purpose.
It was a night of heavy storm and torrential rain. There were abundant.
There was lightening with high sound. Nelly was sitting by the corner of the
bed being very much afraid of the same. I know hat she becomes very much afraid
with the sound of lightening. But I did not feel any desire to sit by her side.
She was staring to me again and again having a shape helplessness in the eyes.
At that time I was reading a foreign sports journal. I was seeing the
photograph of Steffy Graph, the tennis star, wearing mini-skirt. The skirt was
not in place properly with the hit of air while stroke of bat. The healthy inner
part under the wear was to be out ignoring the binding of the underwear. I saw
the picture for a long time and then I found an image in the screen of my mind
and it was the image of Saima of some more days before. Sayma is about to be
the picture in the journal. Zamal is lucky. He had had a nice wife. I was
turning pages one after another. There was number of half naked pictures of
different athlets. I was not feeling bad. I stopped reading the journal. I saw
Nelly is trembling with fear. I know this is not her pretension. She becomes
afraid of sound of lightening. I felt for her. I went to take her to my chest.
But she pushed me far. I caught her and strongly took her to my chest. She
started crying abundantly and hided her face to my chest. I embraced her more
strongly. I could not remember after how much days I could take her to my chest
with so attachment, emotion and love. We both may think that why all the nights
do not become like this. But this want for a moment. It was an illusion in mind
for the time being In fact our minds remain somewhere else.
Storm came down. We became separated from each other. We putout the lamp
and took bed. But I was unable to go under sleep so easily. All the pasts and
presents come in front of me. They laughed at me, so ugly and violent. I closed
my eyes. I wanted get Nelly in my chest with love, may be no love but at least
as a support. But the want remains limited in desire only. She is my wife, but
seems to be a woman in so far. The face appears unknown to me. Now I felt
uneasy even to touch her. Under the same roof we are the residents of two
worlds.
After some days when I ended taking my lunch and after washing hands I
handed over the wiping cloth to the work by then the telephone rang.
I took the receiver. This was from Sayma with her sweet voce. Sayma with
eagerness and also something keeping hidden in her gave me a news. She told -
-- My husband has sustained a big loss. There was a fire accident in the
Mirpur factory and everything have gone to the ashes. At least one crore will
be the loss.
-- This loss is not only for him, this a loss also to you. Why did you
tell that he has sustained loss?
-- You know everything and why you are asking then? You are also glad
for it.
-- Saima disconnected the telephone. I was then thinking only, when so
much deep is love then why not we throw all and started loving and living
together? But, may be the same thing will happen again.
I don't know whether there is any one in this village who does no the
girl named by Parbati. Of course there is no reason not to know her. The
resource of the body which makes man bewildered are all present in the body of
Parbatiu. There is no necessity or logic behind it to describe in details the
things she had. Because the readers are not so foolish that they will wait for
detail description of the resources of young girl body. But there remains
different in behavior of each man and so this needs to describe. Parbati9 has a
tendency to talk much, as if everybody is waiting for her to hear. Since she is
of this type so she has no uneasiness to tell abundantly. She randomly talks
obscene in her rural language. Her movement has never been appeared proper to
anybody. This the idea of all that she willingly makes her buttock trembling
and makes dancing her big breast. Who accounts for that after seeing this big
buttock how many persons kicks the buttock of their wives seeing the same not
very attractive. However Parbati has many difficulties for having such
resources in body. She is afraid and at
the same time she is violent. This is because not only the young ones but the
old and little boys also have the lustful stare to her. This is also heard that
a naughty little boy once opened the chain of his pant and told something to Parbati
and we are sure as to what can be told to her. If this is the situation then
she should have remain careful about her. This a very disgusting thing to a
youthful women. All look to her with lustful eyes. Parbati understands
everything. There is no reason not to understand. Since her early age she has
not played a less in this way. The play of life, the play of youth all she has
got before her marriage. Many men have given her the experience of bridal
night. One of them was very near one and he was the uncle. The legitimate
cousin of her father. Parbati would not know before that such play can be held
with a man of so near relation. How much was her age then? Not more than twelve
and the age of her uncle was seventeen to eighteen. In one night they all went
to the bed together with others and Parbati was lying by the side of her said
uncle. Immediately after putting off the light her uncle started the game and
it was very carefully and skillfully. Parbati was unable to resist. She felt
much pain and a happiness also. There was no next result and if that would have
been the she would have nothing to do than hang. As she was saved for the first
time so she was more desperate. Such night does not come to life again and
again, but the body awakens with its lust every night. She wants the same again
and again. She can not sleep by the night. Parbati then gets her little brother
to her chest and gets sleep. When she wakes up she found her little brother is
also lying embracing her. She feels and enjoys it. So little the boy is and so
thing the hands and feet and yet have a
strength to demolish her. Parbati thinks in her mind that this is called a
male. She feels strong desire in mind. She can not control herself for long
time. She pushes her hand inside the pant of her brother. She moves the little
thing and within a moment the small soft thing becomes hard like a stone. But
the situation can not be long lasting. Her brother moves in her chest and
hurriedly she draws her hand from the inside of the pant.
Time passes. With passing the time Parbati becomes more youthful and
resourceful with all her belongings in the body. This is like a tide which can
not be resisted. Slowly the Himalayan peaks like Kanchanjangha and Dhabablgiri
arises in the land of her chest. The dress she wears can not block the way of
its outing. Parbati started to see the future and the dream of future touches
the present of her. She becomes emotional with the touch of gentle cold breeze.
The summer noon makes her
bewildered. She takes the sauce of little mango with much chilly and that makes
tearing her yet she does not care. This is an erotic sentiment of different
type. Parbati is a girl of village. She does not wear underwear. She feels
something different with the touch of her dress in the middle of thighs. She
becomes senseless and she catches seriously the place with her fingers. She
gets her highest emotion out of her mind.
In one night when it was deep then she wakes up from the sleep and comes
out. She had the natures call. She becomes afraid in this deep night. She sees
around and sits in the side of a tree. Suddenly she hears a hissing voice and
she becomes more afraid. After completion of her natures call she stands at a
side and tries to hear the source of the sound. She becomes so keen and becomes
able to understand that the sound is coming from the heap of the straw nearby.
Very slowly she proceeds and found that her uncle is lying there embracing her
mother like a snake. Parbati becomes jealous and she becomes angry also. She had
wish that she will rush there and throw her uncle from the body of her mother.
She thinks even to make shout to bring men there to see, but she does not do
anything. Tears come to her eyes. She slowly comes to her bed and at that night
she becomes unable to have sleep.
One day Parbati becomes surprised to see the matchmaker Lalu. Is it that
her mother is thinking about her marriage. In her early age her father has died
and now her mother is everything to her. She sees the things of their family in
all respect. But Parbati is not a little girl. If her mother thinks about her
marriage then it is very much usual. But her mother could ask her once at
least. She may have a different option. This is her marriage, not of her
mother.
However she feels the matter. She talks with Lalu in formal way. Some
food she gives to Lalu, which they had in their room. Lalu is a very good matchmaker. He can
arrange and manage the thing which was not supposed to be happened. It is
possible for Lalu to arrange a good husband for Parbati. Parbati understands
the matter, but she becomes annoyed upon her mother. While it was night and
both daughter and mother were lying in the bed then her mother takes to her
chest. She touches her head, shows affection to her and then she wanted to tell
something but keep stopped. Parbati understands the condition. She asks her
mother -
-- Do you want to tell me anything?
Her mother breathed heavily. Her mind became upsurge with emotion, and
in such condition she embraced her daughter and burst out into tears. Parbati
also becomes unable to stop crying. She caught her mother with two hands. Tears
come out of her eyes and she remains in the chest of her mother. She wants to
hide it and so she goes to the side room and at times she could stop. She goes
to her room and then also her little brother was crying keeping his head on the
table. Parbati takes to her near. Getting more affection the little brother
burst into tears. Parbati takes her more strongly and tell -
-- My dear little brother, not yet happened anything and I shall not
leave you.
The little brother caught her tightly. What more happiness can be more
than this............. Parbati thinks in her mind.
THE LONELY SPRING
Suddenly Anis woke up from sleep at the deep of the night. He turned to
Mahua and then with her right hands he took Mahua deep to her chest. He brought
her mouth to the neck of Mahua and kissed. Yet Mahua could not come out of her
sleep and for this reason he became a bit annoyed with her. Anis liked to
complete the bed game at the beginning of the night. But Mahua does not like
it. If it is done in the beginning of the night then throughout the night she
feels uneasy and even dirty, as a result the remaining night can not sleep.
During the bridal night Anis was able to understand this character of Mahua.
When he was ready for the final moment after a long course of affection to the
new wife then Mahua resisted her -
-- No, not now.
Anis the helpless boy with pain in his abdomen had to wait till the cock
shouted in the morning and when the cock was taking full liberty on the hens
nearby. Yet then Mahua was sleeping. He was very much restless then. He was
thinking that this bridal night will be a farce for him. New wife and at the
same time she was beautiful. All these things are the matter of joy. It is not
good to do such things drawing somebody from her deep sleep. At last he started
to touch the most sensitive point of the body of Mahua and after some moment
she was able to get up from sleep. She moved and turning to Anis she embraced
Anis strongly, as if she was doing all these things in the sleepy moment. In
this way Anis was able to get the enjoyment of the bridal night from her wife.
That is still continuing, not in the beginning, but at the late night. Anis has
become habituated now and today also was no exception of that. The rest of the
night they passed talking. They would make joys of different nature. Anis
thought most of the local couple have their conjugal life like instrument and
then bring out a child. They have no happy sexual life. In this case they are
exception. They take long emotional moment to each other before they met. Mahua
did not raise any objection. Even after mating they remain to each other for
long time. He is very much happy in his sexual life and also he feels pride of
this. Yet the thing is not to disclose to anybody, but why not to Mahua. It is
proved and expressed to her. Due to this his value to his wife is a bit more.
He can understand this seeing the eyes of Mahua and also through her continuing
behavior to him. He enjoys this. He thinks that if anybody wants to be happy in
family life then he should be owner of this type of position, which h is
getting from his satisfied wife. It is better to die than to be defeated in
such affairs. There is nothing more insulting than this to a man's wife. He
always prays for continuity of his ability for long time.
The river flow never goes in the same way always and like the same
the time never remains alike. The honey
that has in the hive of luck of
Anis at time comes to an end and he becomes unable to feel it. Because
all these happen under secret. The activity of luck was never to the concept of
human being. If the man could be able to know then it never be remain as the
luck. Men never accept helplessness to the same.
Anis has an employment under private enterprise and that employment is
also of not high level. That is like very light like glass. It was never a
green field under the feet. It was a stone heart of the mechanical civilization
of the urban. If once fallen from the hand then it is lost. Never it will come
back. The city will be dark black to him and darkness will surround him from
all sides.
The proprietor's aim of renovation of the office comes to an end and the
garbage falls upon the head of Anis. A diploma holder computer operator comes
to his place. Anis does make any other person responsible for his present
situation, rather he accepts that he is responsible for the condition. He can
not make the proprietor responsible for his ill situation. He has given Anis
salary of two months before his departure from the office. What more the
proprietor can do for him.
Anis can understand well that if he would know computer operation hen he
would not loss the employment. The proprietor would also be unable to find out
any reason to remove her from the employment. Now, what he will get out of this
repentance? He decided that he will tell everything to Mahua, as there is no
alternative to this.
Anis knows well that what a hard job to find out another employment in
this state of position of the country. He could understand well this thing
while he got this employment. Very little job and salary is also accordingly.
But he needed to do more than to direction-request of a minister. However he
could get the employment and in the way of this employment Mahua came to his
life. Such parents now a days will not be available who will give their
daughter to the hands of an unemployed young man.
Anis became unable to find out any way in such a critical and disastrous
moment. He returned to the residence and stated to think over the matter. He
does not think about him. He thinks about Mahua. Where he will keep him and
what will be the source of food and is it that ultimately she will have to keep
her to the residence of her father. But how it is possible? It is better to die
than do such or to take such step.
Anis has no parents. To speak the truth he is alone. He had a step
sister, whereabouts of her is not known to him since long. Who knows whether
she is alive or dead. Anis can not think more. He was attacked with bad
headache for thinking over the situation much. Now he is unable to think more
and got his head on the pillow of the bed. But the thought does not leave him.
It remains as the shadow or the whole time.
Mahua has gone to the residence of her father about four months before.
Anis has taken shelter to a mess known to him. Anis is habituated with the
happiness of family life and now it is living alone, which appeared to him as
living in the hell. Yet he tried to tolerate everything. What else he can do in
this moment.
During this long period he went to see Mahua once only. He was there for
two days. Mahua requested to remain more, but it was not possible to Anis to
remain there for further time. But Anis did not. Even at the present moment the
attraction of Mahua becomes also unimportant to him in such disaster.
Everything is now undesireable.
Night comes to the city and then stated the play of light in the dark.
The husbands coming from the office with tired body get resorts of dearer. Very
softly and politely he keeps the head to the chest of the dear wife. The
fingers of the dear ones play with the hair about to be end on the head. The
happy man then searches out the address of happiness. He soaked the all odds of
the body from his dear one with a violent kiss. A very unimportant office
assistant becomes then the big doctor. No more efficient surgeon in the city
becomes unavailable in that moment. Anis saw some empty bottles in a torn room
and also some glasses of drinks. His dream world started to be grey and once it
diminishes to the black pitched road of the dark night of the city.
The first day when I saw Mayna, I was amazed to see her breast and so I
was looking again and again to that place of her body than to see herself. It
is very much normal. To a young man of twenty three years old the breast of a
damsel is important than any other thing. Even to him an animal is also
attractive to the same extent. He sees the conjugation o animals and birds with
eagerness and also he stares to a little girl and even a woman of forty years
old. The youth is then everything to him. He moves to the world of youth
consciously and unconsciously.
I see Mayna and also see her out bursting youth of twenty years old.. I
fee something different in my sense. I feel a warm spring movement through my
spinal cord. My hands feel a separate sense. I become restless, but all these
things happen in secret within me. Even a man who is sitting by my side can not
be able to understand happening of all these things in me. Truly it is that the
human mind is a very mysterious thing, a zoo diversified zoo.
After recession of the class all become eager to come out and then they
all come to the verandah and stand there. Some of thm go to the tea stall. Some
make fun and demand taka two to his friend to buy a cigarette. I stand catching
the railing of the verandah. I am new here. I have such mentionable friend, not
even I am eager to talk with anybody. In fact, after seeing Mayna I have felt
something different in mind, and also feeling bad in mind. I am now feeling
helpless and having nothing to me ......... a different feeling in mind. Just
at the moment when the state of mind will be changed then I became attentive to
some dialogues of two friends standing nearby—
Whichever you tell I am sure that the breast of Mayna is the best of all
the girls in the class.
Just the right you have told. Bewildering!
Oh, if I would have a chance to catch it then I would feel that my life
is almost filled in pleasure.
Right, its a devastating thing. But most surprising is that how it could
be so big in her present age?
Somebody has touched it definitely.
May be. This is not impossible. May be she is in love with somebody. In
this respect the role of brother in law is also not less. In some case the
servant boys also play an important role in this field.
This amusing discussion of these two boys might be long and in certain
moment the discussion would round to the naval point, abdomen and also below
the places somewhere and then to stop it. But this could not be. Second class
was to be started and the undesired face of the teacher appeared in the
verandah and all the students went to the class room. I came to my own place
and took seat. I stared to Mayna and found that she is also making push to
enter the class room. Without my desire I could see a part of her breast under
the wear. I know the height of the Himalayans, but I became unable to know the
height of this place of Mayna. At that time I could remember the discussion of
two boys in the verandah and for it a doubt about the character of Mayna also
arise in my mind. Is it that Mayna is in affaris with anybody or her character
.................... ? I stopped my thought whn our sir came near me and make a
student by the side of me standing for his sleepy eyes in the class. I felt
relaxed and I started seeing the face of the sir. The side boy remained
standing and our sir started to give lesson. I forgot Mayna, the Himalayans and
all other heights and only I became attentive to the lecture in the class. But
nothing was entering to my head and so I pretended to be so that all the things
are known to me well before.
Days passes and pressure of study also increases. Most of the students
are now busy with study and some of the students make gossip in some places.
This is a very delightful environment. The new comers day also makes a
different level in the life of the students in the class. But I can not be
attentive to anything. I am always now with Mayna. But I am unable to tell it
to her.
Many of us talk with their dear ones on some plea. Its like an undesired
attachment to her sometimes. Sometimes more than two also sit and talk. Some
becomes failure to do so. But success are most. The mystery of human mind is
not easy to understand and if it is in case of a girl then .................!
I also want to talk with Mayna, want to make a good relation with her.
But I can not, reason of which is not known to me. My weakness to her is so
much that I can not be a normal class friend to her under any circumstances.
When I go to her presence then I can not make things well, it becomes
haphazard. All plans become inactive. She has no boy friend. She does not talk
with the classmates. This is an opportunity, but for my inability I can not use
this opportunity.
I become unable to talk with Mayna up to the last. In fact many of our
classmates were eager to make a relation with her. Some of them have tried
also. But the result is that after the first talk when they talked for the
second time then it appeared again this is the first time. This is a pretension
of not knowing and if such thing happen then the eager boys also in some stage
loss their desire and this happened in case of Mayna. So Mayna remains alone in
her own way. No beautiful young man can be her friend in spite of most desire.
My study desire is now at the stake and about to be ended in course of
such mental disposition. I left my subject and became engaged for research
about Mayna. The unsuccessful love fives many nights withoutsleep, some love
letters without address, some verses of love, two small stories and a draft of
a novelette. All these silly, written in raw hands, having no specific meaning
and having no practical value. Yet I get some peace in mind doing all these
things. My sorrow is only that Mayna was not able to know the position of my
feelings to her. Out of her knowledge a great poet is being born in the world.
Where she will fnd time to know about this? She is busy with her own life in
her own style. I can not bring her out to the world of my love from the place
of her own world. I only begin to be a disastrous fellow in my mind and in the
world.
One day we all became surprised. Mayna has come in the varsity with
handsome young man, well dressed. But above all Mayna has a nice baby on her
lap. We all become surprised. With unlimited sorrow and pain I want to torn out
my own body, my own sense and sentiment and all out of repentance. This the
first time that Mayna laughs towards me. I Understand the meaning of that
laugh. I wished to do serious something at that moment. But no logic or reason
is behind the wish. All are damaged by a small tornado. The next day Mayna was
not in the class.
A little before there was a torrential rain. Still the leaves of trees,
the edge of the umbrella, watery hair of the cultivator busy with cultivation,
the little girl with bundle of hair on the head under the big arum leave, who
has gone to her father to give food to eat in the morning and now has been
stuck up for the rain and her body has been showered with rain water by the
stormy sudden air and also still the drops of water are falling. The dog who
gave birth to four puppies and none of them survived and that was lying like a
coil to the corner of the room suddenly rushed to the watery road to find out
food for her.
The cold body like a serpent and oily dazzling sands' road, where never
water deposited, at the both end of the said road the boys and girls to go the
school have come. The young goats also jumping to save their body from the
water. If not the foot is placed well then the leg with sandal is being entered
to he mud.
Still more or less drops were falling and getting pause Azam came to the
main road after passing the small road there. Gentle breeze is blowing and at
the same time the feeling a bit cold. Azam looks around. The sky is still
cloudy. But it i9s not sure that without any further delay there will be rain
again. May b this year rainy season will
make sufferings. This year, at the beginning, it has been raining every now and
then. Last two years this was not seen.
However, this the matter of the meteorologists. Azam is now waiting for
Tasmin. He left thinking over the meteorological condition. He started to think
over Tasmin. Is it hat Tasmin has already gone or not yet. She is not supposed
to go by this time. Azam came out just after the raining was stopped.. Tasmin
is a girl and definitely she has not been able to be faster to go before Azam.
He thinks it proper to wait for her.
Today the road is lonely. In this bad weather, he thought, none other
than Tasnim and he will go to the class. He has seen it before. Rural people
does not think about education with due importance. If they find any plea hen
their sons and daughters and he parents also take decision not to go to school
on that day. Even the little boy who has recently passed he primary prefers to
go to he field with his father catching the tail of the cow.
Azam was wearing a white shirt. The gentle breeze is moving his hair. He
has taken his lungi high a little by one hand and in his another hand the books
of English, history, mathematics and others are remaining coiled. He decided he
will not leave the opportunity of today. He will tell Tasmin the inner thought
he has, he can not remain abstain from speaking her and he will not allow him
to be burnt to ashes. Tasmin is the daughter of a rich man. So what. They are
classmates since long. She has a good relation with Tasmin and may be the same
thought also is remaining in he mind of Tasmin. But since she is a girl so she
is not able to tell it out of shame. At the same time he is a boy and snior in
age. So he should tell first. When he was in search of such many logic and
reasons to tell then Tasmin came. Azam feels that a fairy being out from the
group has fallen and now remaining standing in front of her. He remained seeing
her.
What you are seeing to me? .........
Tasmin asked with a sweet smile.
Azam did not answer. They both started to walk to the school. Tasmin
again told. She wanted to know about the silence of Azam. This was normal. She
has never seen Azam so silent. When hey meet everyday then it has been found
that Azam is talking recklessly and at random. Tasmin likes it. She never
becomes annoyed. Azam is a poor boy and his father has died. Azam is her friend
since the early age. All other school and village boys when are eager to talk
with Tasmin, then she never talks with anybody except Azam. This has made some
whispering among them, but she never gives any importance to the same. He knows
Azam well.
Suddenly Azam talked. His voice is harsh and weighted. He told -
Tasmin, I want to tell you something.
So what? Do you think to tell me something you need to give a big
introduction? ... Tasmin answered with
her sweet voice.
But the thing is serious.
Whichever serious it may be. Without any hesitation you can tell it. I
will not mind anything. Can you tell me I have taken offence any day whichever
you have talked earlier.
No you have not take any offence on my talk ever. But I don't know why I
am thinking that you will take it to be an offence for my talk today.
So what? You will tell.
Azam took a big breathe. He directly keep his eyes on the face of Tasmin
and told -
I love you Tasmin.
Tasmin became over surprised.
When she came out of the illusion of the surprise then she found herself
that she has been very angry with Azam. She became so violent that she told -
I am giving a seal of love on your back right now.
Telling this she took her sandal hand and hit on the back of Azam. Azam
became in a fix and even she forgot to be surprised. By this time Tasmin has
stepped forward.
Azam came to the house. Meanwhile the spot of sandal hit on the shirt
has become white. Azam softly put of the shirt from the body, made folds and
kept it in a safe place. Azam decided that he will be absconded from the
residence from that night surely. He will not come in front of Tasmin until he
will be able to be fit for Tasmin. He became very much sad when he remembered
his mother. How he will be able to leave the house leaving alone his mother. Of
course he is of no use to his mother. After death of his father his mother has
caught the hull if this family with strong hand. There was much hardship, but
his mother in spite of this hardship never allowed any problem to study of
Azam. Now he is going to leave his mother! How it is possible for him? he can
not see any way. But he will have to go. The first love of his life has been
humiliatingly downtrodden, he has been insulted and in such condition he will
have to do something for this. He came over from all the hesitation and decided
go from the house. At the end of the night the mother of Azam went to call him
from the bed and then she got a small letter on the bed. She could not save
herself. Just she fell down on the bed with the letter in hand. She became
completely unable to understand the reason as to why her son left the house
without knowledge of others.
Many days passed in its usual way. Azam's mother is waiting for her son
that he must come return to the house. She thought someday he will come and
suddenly catching her neck he will tell -
Hi, Mom, how are you? But her waiting becomes expanded day by day
without her consolation of mind.
Azam came to the town and then it was evening. He had some money in
pocket. He took some food and then seeing big beautiful house by the road side
he got his body laid down on the ground in front of that house. The bundle of
his clothes he kept under his head. He was tired and breaking the unlimited
thought when the sleep came to him was unknown to him and went down to the deep
sleep.
He woke up with the call of a gentleman. Azam woke up and started to rub
his eyes. Azam became a bit afraid seeing the foreign born dog of the gentleman
was staring to him with wide open mouth. But he came out of the fear and with
the generosity of that gentleman he got shelter in the house of that gentleman.
In the big house there are very small number of men. The gentleman himself, few
servants and the dog and newly added member of that house became Azam. The
gentleman told the story of his life. This was a sad story. The wife of
gentleman is luxurious. He has one son and a daughter. They don't like this
country and so they have decided to live in America permanently. The y come to
the country sometimes and stay here for some days. They have tried their level
best to take their father to America.
But the gentleman is quite unwilling to live abroad leaving his own country.
Azam became surprised and at the same time he became delighted as the big house
is almost lonely. Azam started his new life with admission to a famous school
of the town.
The escape of Azam in this way spread at the area in course of time. Men
made many story behind such escape of Azam. At a certain stage the news came to
Tasmin. Some of the nearby people asked her whether she knows anything about
the escape of Azam. Tasmin did not tell anything to anybody. She also became
very sad for his sudden escape. But in her mind she became so sad for her
misbehavior to Azam. She considered herself responsible for leaving the house
of Azam. She also started to wait for coming back of Azam.
In the half yearly examination Tasmin did well and so she has been taken
to Dhaka by her maternal uncle. She got
herself admitted to a good college and after two years in the final examination
of the higher secondary level she did well and came out with good result. But
she did not get chance to get admission to Dhaka University.
She started her higher education in the Eden
college. On the other hand Azam also did well in all his examinations and doing
well he got admitted in the Dhaka
University. He knew
everything about Tasmin. A relation of Tasmin was known to him as a friend and
through hi8m he could get all i8nformation of Tasmin. This is the boy to whom
he told everything when he came out of the house and the boy was able to keep
the secret. At the same time he collected all information of Rasnim and informed
the same to Azam. Azam decided that though both of them are residing in the
same town yet he will not meet Tasmin, rather he will maintain secret. Days
passed and Azam completed his university education. His only duty is now to see
and look after all the businesses of that old gentleman where he lived. The
gentleman became eager to arrange marriage of Azam. In such situation Azam
found no other way than to till everything to him. The gentleman became
surprised. However he assured Azam that he will give all necessary help to
Azam. The gentleman told him that he likes him as his son and definitely he
will take all necessary steps in this respect for him.
On the other side the maternal uncle of Tasmin also was trying to
arrange marriage of her. Though up to this time she was resist her marriage on
the plea that she will complete her education and then she will marry. But as
her education was completed Tasmin was not able to find any plea. She was
beautiful and highly educated, so there was many young man eager to marry her.
But Tasmin denied all those on the excuse that they were not up to her choice.
Her maternal uncle could not understand what type of young man will be up to
her choice. In such situation he told that the next young man which will be selected
by him shall be finally selected for marriage of Tasmin. Her father and mother
were also at the same opinion. Tasmin became afraid. However on the stipulated
day an old man came with a young man long beard. Tasmin became hurt in mind.
She remembered Azam then. There was many similarities of this young man with
Azam. But the old man told that this boy is his nephew and then there remain no
possibility of being the young man Azam. Yet with desire of all the marriage of
Tasmin was solemnized. Since there was some similarity with Azam so Tasmin did
not seriously resisted the marriage and that happened.
It was a bridal night. There was sound of shehnai. Nizam, the play mate
of early age of Azam has come to Dhaka with
his mother. This is Nizam who has look after Azam's mother since long before in
absence of Azam. In the bridal bed Tasmin was sitting covering her face with
'Ghomta). She trembling and when she remembered Azam then tears came out from
her eyes. She does not know whether Azam is dead or alive. Azam entered the
room and shut the door. He smiled and brought a little box from under the khat.
His smile was the smile of victory. He brought out an old shirt from the box.
He kept it in front Tasmin. But she was unable to see this as her eyes were
full of tears and her face was covered by Ghomta. Azam removed the ghomta with
his two hands and told -
You see. Can you identify this shirt?
Tasmin with her eyes somehow could identify the shirt, which was spotted
with the hit of her sandal long eight years before. Azam removed his false
beard and mustache. Tasmin could know her. With her abundant emotion she rushed
upon Azam.
After some time there was a knock at the door. Azam went and opened the
door. His mother entered the room and cried out loudly seeing her son after
long days. Azam embraced her mother. Tasmin remained standing surprisingly. The
old gentleman and Nizam began to laugh. A person not known to everybody laughed
and told this was a "Lesson of love".
"Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old
days"
Mr. Jabbar is feeling very much restlessness. Sweating has been started
in his folded forehead, hairless front side of head. He tried much to sleep but
failed. He put on the light but appeared very much shinning to him. He became
annoyed with the dazzling light of the electricity. He expressed his annoyance
through squeezing his nose and mouth. He started rubbing his foot on the cold
floor sitting by the side of the bed. There is carpet in all the room of the
house in exception of his room only. He does not like having carpet on the
floor in his room. He took the glass and drank more than half of the water from
the glass and that made his fat stomach more upwards. He opened the drawer, saw
the medicines and tablets there and what he was thinking not known to anybody,
and then shut the drawer with sound. Some days before he had a stroke and
another one was before. He has already suffered two strokes. If it happens for
third time then that will be the end. He did not find it reasonable to eat
sleeping pill and to sleep. He stood up like box.
He did not like to think as to how much it would be wise to enter the
room of the daughters in this deep night.
At this moment he is very much willing to see her two daughters. He came
to the door of the side room. In this room his two daughters Sharmin and Susmin
remains. Surely they are in deep sleep now. He touched the door and the door
opened. He saw the white bed through the curtain in the dim light. The two
daughters are sleeping in two sides of the bed. He clearly saw the up and down
of their chest with their breathing. He draw his eyes as soon as his stare fell
upon the side of the breast. The two daughters are already adult now. At least
the elder one should be married now. Sharmin is now studying honors second
year. This age is not very less for a girl. Silently he went to the door of the
another room. This room is of Anisa Begum. This Anisa Begum is the wife of Mr.
Jabbar. The door of the room of Anisa Begum is also not closed. He came into
the room. Anisa Begum sleeps like a
coiling dog. But today she is sleeping upside spreading her legs and hands at
the sides. The on her right leg has come upto thigh and the buttons of her
blouse are remaining scattered. She had only a light cloth on her chest. She
also sleeps with dim light in the room, just like her daughters. The up and
down of the cloth on the chest is making her every breathe lively. He could
remember that in the bridal night Anisa Begum was unwilling to put off the
lamp. There was no dim light in that room. He knew that the girls like dark in
that moment as taking love from the husband makes the chicks red and that
becomes a matter of shame. Particularly this is normal for a Bangali girl, as
they are naturally more shy. But Anisa Begum was an exception. Of course they
had no much attachment on that night. There was simple lovemaking. Mr. Jabbar smiled out of his mind. That laugh
of Anisa Begum was like a budding flower and now after long days it is
different. The time has snatched all her laughs from her face and now it has
got a geometrical shape.
Mr. Jabbar had a strong will to sit by the side of Anisa Begum and to
touch her head, just to make an affection. But he did not. If Anisa Begum knows
then she would be surprised or may have such remark that he will feel much
sorrow in mind. Besides, the daughters are now grown up. In such age there
should be some distance between them. He thought and at a time he lost the
desire to sit by the side of Anisa Begum.
He started walking unmindfully and in this way he came to front verandah
out of his knowledge. Suddenly he felt the touch of gentle cold breeze. At the
same time he got the smell of jasmine flower, very attractive. He wanted to
have a deep breathe to take more smell. But he has heart problem and she
stopped his desire. He sat on a cane chair. He was feeling well now. This feelings of getting well becomes
dangerous for him. While feeling well and at the time of happiness the face he
can remember is his first love, first attraction of life and she is Shahana.
They became known to each other when they both were studying in the same
college. Shahana was a nice girl. In all her posture she was fine and
sophisticated. She was the deity in the college. Though she liked by all but he
was almost mad for her. The first day when Shahana came to the class then at
first seeing each other and then there was a whispering among the students,
then discussion and then the matter could not come to an end as the class
became closed. While the students were moving from the class then they several
times looked back to see the deity and ultimately they proceeded to their own
way. Mr. Jabbar was sitting on the stair. None can tell that he was actually
waiting for Shahana. But in fact he was feeling volcanic irruption in his
heart. He was not being able to think as to he will first talk with Shahana.
Suddenly Shahana came before him and he became trembled. Shahana talked first.
She asked -
What is the matter? You are sitting alone? Are you waiting for some one?
Will you not go the residence? Many question I asked at a time. Please don't
take this as an offence.
Mr. Jabbar smiled and told -
No. Nothing to mind. Please sit down.
No. I shall have to go the residence.
Where is your residence?
So early you want to know the address? Will you go?
No. - Mr. Jabbar became embarrassed.
But what is the problem to go? One may go to the residence of other. Oh!
My God. I have told many things and yet to know your name. What is your name?
Jabbar Chowdhury. he answered.
You are a Chowdhury? Alright. This means an aristocrat family.
Mr. Jabbar smiled.
My name is Shahana, She told. Shahana Begum and nothing like Chowdhury
and etc. We are from Khan.
You are also from an aristocrat family. Shahana smiled a little.
Mr. Jabbar again requested her to sit. Shahana sat by the near of him.
She told -
You know this college I could not like at all.
Why? Mr. Jabbar asked.
You see a number of students are staring towards me. They tell obscene,
laugh ugly and I feel uneasy. At the first day my desire for empowerment of the
women has been wiped out. Now I think it will be difficult for me to save
myself from them.
It will be alright in time. Jabbar gave hope.
Nothing good will be. I know the character of the men.
Had you many connections?
Not very much, but the everyday occurrences are sufficient to
understand. Oh, you are also a male. Do you mind? Of course all are not the
same.
That's right.
No more today. Now I shall go. Tomorrow we shall meet again.
Will you come tomorrow?
If I survive then I shall come. Shahana smiled. You are attractive.
However, now I shall go and see you again.
Mr. Jabbar said good bye moving his hand.
He became so amazed for his victory. Then he may be able to make a good
relationship with Shahana. She told many things with him and this is positive.
Thereafter they have good days. They became very much good friend to
each other. The news of such good relation was known to others and then all
became accustomed with the situation. Those days were the most delighted days
in his life and that has been recorded in his mind in golden letters.
But the Almighty was then thinking otherwise. After passing those days
the disastrous days came to his life. Shahana was not coming to9 the college
for some days. Jabbar wished to go her residence, but he did not dare. He
thought it to be wise to wait for her coming. On a day he was thinking about
Shahana sitting by the side of the pond. Suddenly a classmate came to him and
told -
Hi, my friend, hat you are thinking? Definitely it is about Shahana. But
what will bring to think about her? It is already end.
What does it mean? What has happened to Shahana?
Don'ts you know nothing about her? his became surprised.
What do you say? Shahana has been married. Her husband is a marine
engineer. He is employed in a foreign ship and in a big post.
Mr Jabbar as if fell from the sky. He even forgot to be surprised. He
had to take much time to accept this serious news. He came to know that his
friend has told the true. Shahana has made deception with him. Mr.Jabbar
started to file out the past. He became unable to see that Shahana has ever
told him that she loves him. Then Shahana has taken him as a friend only. But
since he loved Shahana so he thought that Shahana also loved him. He also never
told about his love to Shahana. Yet he could not accept the reasons. He imposed
all the faults upon Shahana and undertook the hard decision of committing
suicide. But he could not commit suicide and he remained alive. An epic of love
could be held, but it would not. Mr. Jabbar started to lead normal life.
Thereafter Shahana has also come to the college. He also attended the college.
They did not have any talk between them and he is not sure who became far from
each other. Yet the desire of heart that was is still alive like flower with
dew. Shahana came again, but it was not she, then who it was? Mr. Jabbar did
not want to remember, but the memory did not relieve him. He could see the face
of another one in his memory and he was none but his elder so9n Shohag, his
first son. He knows how much love affection he has given to grow up this son.
This son hit the most sensitive memory of Mr. Jabbar. His son has completed the
education. Mr. and Mrs. both were then thinking about marriage of their son. In such situation his son came
with a girl in the deep of the night. His son informed that this girl is the
wife of him Mr. Jabbar became in a fix. Before he could understand the thing
his wife Anisa Begum came to him and told -
What are all these things and why you are not saying anything? An
u7nknown girl came to the house and she is the wife of his son! I don't accept
this marriage.
Mr. Jabbar told her to be relaxed and Anisa Begum became more serious
about it.
Mr. Jabbar went to the girl. She was sitting on the sofa with
hesitation. Mr. Jabbar sat by her side and questioned one after another and
when he could know everything then, as if, the sky fell down on his head. He
did not proceed further. He came to his son and told -
If you married the girl then be off from this house right now. And if
not you are married yet then go and return this girl to her mother. The son
went away with the girl and never came back. In the same town they live in the
separate residence. Men tell many things he feels much in his heart. But he can
not accept the daughter of Shahana as the wife of his son.
Mr. Jabbar is still unable to think how his nice family went to the
ashes. He wanted to make his sons and daughters in well manner. Yet, how it
could be. His younger son Shohan, who some days before also would play tennis
in the open space in front of his house lighting bulb in the night for a long
time has now turned to different in nature immediately after admission to the
college. He started mixing with bad boys and Mr. Jabbar could understand that
his son even has started smoking cigarettes. He has got smoke smell from his
mouth. He called her mother and told everything. This son does not come to him.
He has good relation with his mother. So he told Anisa Begum to take care of
him. Anisa Begum tried much to make son understand the situation. But his s0on
laughed hearing advice of his mother. He told -
Mom, I am now grown up. I know what is good for me and what is bad for
me. Anisa Begum smiled and could not tell much to his beloved son. After some
days a boy rushed to their house, came to Mr. Jabbar and told—
Some boys have stabbed Shohan Bhai. He is now in the medical emergency.
You should go there.
Mr. Jabbar became perplexed hearing the news. By this time the boy went
out. He loudly called his wife Anisa Begum. His daughters also came hearing
call. He could only tell all of them that -
Let us go to the medical hospital immediately. Shohan has been taken
there.
None could tell anything. All rushed to the medical college hospital.
There they could see the serious thing and they at a time started to be crying
loudly. Mr. Jabbar heard everything quietly.
A friend of Shohan wanted his motor cycle. But since Shihan refused
giving the motor cycle so he became angry and started scolding which ended to a
physical collision. They were then in front of a tailor house. Suddenly the
rotten boy went to the tailor's room, brought a scissors and stabbed it at the
beneath of neck at the back side on his head. Shohan became senseless and fell
to the ground. The boys then fled away. The nearby people brought him to the
medical hospital.
For some days he was kept in the medical hospital and then for better
treatment he was sent abroad. But the life of Shohan started to be at the
stake. Mr. Jabbar does not remember the last days of life of his son. His son
died with unlimited pains suffering for long time. He saw this only. He had
nothing to do. The doctor sent him back to the country. He is now waiting death
remaining on the bed.
One day all the family members were taking breakfast on the table. Then
the maid servant of the house came there and informed that Shohan is no more.
Mr. Jabbar became shocked. He washed his hands and went to the room of Shohan.
He burst out of crying. He closed two eyes of his dear son steadily and covered
the body with the white chadar. He elder daughter became unable to drinkwater.
When news of death came to the table then his elder daughter Sharmin was
drinking. She had water in the mouth and glass in hand. Still she sees the
image of his brother in the water of the glass.
RETALIATION BEYOND KNOWLEDGE
Mumu carefully observed herself in the mirror. She found nothing wrong.
Everything was alright. The green sari with green blouse, and matching
ornaments, shoe, makeup and all other things, even the handkerchief in hand.
Rightly she was looking dine. She laughed sweetly seeing her image in the
mirror and so the image did. She asked herself -
How I am looking.
Surprisingly she heard the voice of the image and the sound was clear.
It told—
You are looking very nice today.
She made the sari kept on her breast brief in size. She makes a little
up from the beneath and down from the upper. This made the white part of the
upper body peeping and tried to come out jump. The image again told -
You are sexy, very sexy and
amazing.
Mumu made her mouth closed and laughed. Then she took her bag and rushed
out suddenly. She liked to be dancing with her joy. But that was not possible
in the crowded road. In such position every will think her to be a mad. At a
little distance a man was seeing her body in such was that as if he was sucking
her body. Mumu felt much hatred. Now she came to the thought that the man is
now putting his long tongue like foreign dog on her back, as if she felt the
touch of the tongue. She felt very much embarrassing and out of her sense she
touched her open back side. She found something. She caught it and brought in
front and found it was an 9nsect. She thought that this insect was walking on
her backside, which she was feeling. She found a taxi is coming without
passenger and she called the taxi showing her hand. The young driver came in
front of Mumu and ten stopped the taxi. The driver asked Mumu -
Where will you go, A-fa?
Chandrima, She answered.
Please get up, the driver told cordially.
Mumu got her seat at the corner of the taxi. She likes to sit at the
corner. She has seem in an English video that in a big room a girl with an
uneasy style has been singing sitting in the corner. She was looking to be a
devastated city. What was the reason to sing sitting in the corner of a room
where there is much place. She was in fact demolished with the worldly
occurrences, or may be it was due to some other reason. Mumu does not understand
the meaning of the songs of English video. She sees the video and remains
satisfied understanding as much as possible from seeing the pictures only. The
songs are also with abundant music having speed much. She became trembled
remembering the obscene sequences amidst the song. She became a bit shy
remembering those scenes. One day she was seeing movie in presence of her
mother and at times a scene of body attachment came in the sequence of a sing.
It was for a little moment and yet she was sweating. She became red in her face
and was being unable to raise her face in front of her mother. She could be
normal when her mother left the place herself.
Since then she never watch TV along with the elders.
She was unmindful for long time and she came to her mind with a shock of
stopping the taxi. When she was about to rebuke the driver then she found she
has already arrived Chandrima. She got down, paid the taxi fare and proceeded
to the bridge. Crossing the bridge she came to the middle of the garden. She
did not like to move over the bridge once again as the people seeing her might
think her to e suffering from insanity. She found a nice place and sat there.
She felt herself again seeing her dress and remembering her beauty she became
satisfied. She touched some places of her body and became excited. She could
see the see the sexual relationship in the eye of mind. Her breathing became
weighted. She felt as if the matter has been happened a little before. But the
matter was of four years before. How much age was then of her? May be thirteen
or fourteen. The body was youthful and was able to float away everything. Her
arrow like stare, the sign of lust in all folders of body and smell unlimited
there. Whenever she was out the men would see her as if nothing like this they
have ever seen. They left their eyes free to the ups and down of the body. They
raped the body in imagination for unlimited period. Mumu felt well. Mumu likes
her companion for whole time friend Mohan. He is a bit fatty, yet she likes. A
bit idiot and complies the order of Mumu as she tells. She likes the obedient
persons. May be all the beautiful girls like the obedient persons. Mohan also
loves him very much.
From early age they were companions each other always. Wherever she will
go, i.e. market, school, traveling Mohan will remain with her. Mohan as if her
shadow and love. She can not remain alone without Mohan. Day p-0asses and both
them became grown up. Voice of Mohan became weighted, body became strong and
sign of beard and mustache appeared in its place. This physical change of Mohan
made her delighted. A surprising attraction she started to feel for Mohan. Is
it love? But before learning the answer she became surprised to see her own
body. Some days before she traveled the whole village the shirt of him and now
she can not think it at all. Her breast
have been turned to big ones, undesired hair has been grown beneath the navel
point, as if a rapper of wool. The feelings of the same creates trembling in the
body. If she woke up from sleep seeing any undesired dream then she found
existence of some liquid material. As if her body is the river of Rainy Season.
Is all the body of all becomes overwhelm in such early age?
One day they were going by rickshaw. Mohan was sitting by her side. He
was looking nice and she was looking to him amazingly. Mohan at time looked to
Mumu and they laughed. She does not know what had been in the staring, But
Mohan became a bit otherwise. He caught her with his one hand and the another
hand he used for proceeding to the breasts under the wear, as if the
serpentine. Mumu was trembling with emotion and was being unable to tolerate.
She stopped the hand of Mohan and kept the hand aside. Again Mohan laughed and
Mumu remain like steel with shame. Mohan slowly asked -
Are you angry? She did not answer. After two days all of the members in
the residence went to travel and Mumu willi8ngly denied to go with them. When
all were out then Mohan came and fact is that she was also desiring Mohan.
Mohan entered the room and closed the door. Mumu sat on the bed and Mohan also
went to her.
Mohan kept one of his hands on the knee of Mumu and pressed a little.
Mumu did not tell anything but laughed a little. Mohan told -
I have done wrong Mumu. This will not be repeated again.
Mumu stared to the face of Mohan and suddenly took him to her chest
strongly. In such position she told to Mohan -
I also love you Mohan
Mohan also took her to him and pressed upon his chest. They don't know
for how many times they were in such embracing condition and at a time they
both felt that they are excited. Mumu started first. She opened the zipper of
the pant and throw it down. Mohan could understand what Mumu wants. He came out
of fear, turned her to the bed, left the pant and undressed Mumu and left her
to the bed with upside on. Mumu closed her eyes and remained silent. Mohan with
his erected penis hit the female organ of Mumu again and again. He was then
sweating enormously. At a certain time he became tired and remained clam. Mumu
was also tired and turned to left and remained calm. Mohan took shelter on the
body of Mumu7 for a while. After so0me time they woke up and went out the room.
When they came then they were unable to see each other.
In the same manner two years passed. They have many times bodily
attachment during this two years. Whenever they had opportunity they became
closed to each other overwhelmingly. But
they were not able to keep this happiness in their lives for long time. In a
road accident Mohan was died.
When the dead body was brought within a coffin they she rushed upon the
coffin in presence of all. The world became meaningless to her and everything
appeared as false. She passed almost one year to get consolation on this mourn.
Very slowly she was able to come to the normal life.
Mumu attended the marriage ceremony of her younger maternal uncle. She
became introduced with a handsome young man there. His name was Saif. He was
nice to look and at the same time he was smart. She found the depth of the blue
sea in his eyes. Tall, sharp and handsome young man as Hercules became the
attraction of Mumu in a moment. The young man was also showed eagerness to her.
They became closed to each other in the function. They decided to meet each
other later on.
About six months passed. It was a routine love. Mumu could come to learn
that they are very rich. His father is an industrialist and he is the only son
of his father. He can play guitar well and had wish to form a band within short
days. He is a good singer also.
Within the time of this band craze Saif may also be a famous singer.
Mumu is very fond of Saif. She likes a young man like him in her mind. So she
does many thing for him. Saif can understand and yet she does not like to hide
her weakness to Saif. It is not a very remarkable thing to be a little
su7bmissive to the man of love.
Suddenly some one kissed on her open back. Mumu surprised and saw behind
that it was Saif and Saif was laughing. Before telling anything Saif caught her
to his arms and Mumu could feel the pressure on the open place of her belly,
but did tell anything. She becomes shy. Saif kissed again on her neck and then
Mumu felt something different. Saif can understand everything. He says -
Alright. I am doing things that will make you happy. Saif touched the
body of Mumu allover and Mumu8 became bewildered with such touch of him to
different places of the body. Saif caught her breast with one hand and he used
another hand to place between the two thighs. Mumu became unable to tolerate.
Saif caught Mumu like an Octopus. Mumu7 became about to stop breathing. Yet she
could not resist as this type of torture are always desirous to woman. She
closed her eyes with an unknown delight of body.
The was then about to set. They came out of the park. Suddenly a group
of boys came there and surrounded them. Saif called a name and told
surprisingly - is it you?
The boy answered - yeas, I am. They caught Saif and closed the mouth
before he could loudly shout. They used chloroform on the noses of them two to
make them senseless. They left Saif and went away with Mumu by a microbus.
It would not be bad if the occurrence would be ended there. But in
practice it was otherwise. I think the reader has understood the same, but not
completely.
After two days Mumu was found to be senseless in a under construction
house. The police discovered her. Her body was seriously hurt, damaged. She was
taken to the hospital. Saif has not gone to the hospital. He became afraid, as
many days before he was involved with Nila, the sister of his friend. Friends
of Saif were also participants in that amusement. The sister of Saif remains in
America
with her maternal uncle. Due to this reason Kazal, friend of Saif was not able
to take revenge of it. Now he has fond the address of the lover of Saif.
Finding the opportunity he has taken such revenge. Parents of Kazal know
everything. But did not tell anything thinking about the family prestige. But
Kazal did not forget and was in search of an opportunity to take revenge
against the same.
Mumu is at the hospital and was fighting death. On the other hand, Saif
in order to commit suicide placed the pistol under his ear and when he was
about to trigger then some one pushed him to the ground and the pistol was
thrown far. Saif could not kill him and in such was he became escaped from the
hand of sure death. Before Saif could understand anything Kazal, his friend,
embraced him and Saif could remember the friendship that was with them before.
Kazal tells -
Whichever has been done is not the matter now. The first thing is to go
to the hospital to see Mumu. She is fighting death there. Let her be recovered
and don't think about her. I shall marry her. My sister Rupa will be married
with you. Once you loved her and now to take revenge on her you have done this.
Of course Rupa has not done well in insulting you.
Saif did not answer. They proceeded to the hospital with a car.
Before death Mumu disclosed everything. Saif attending the hospital
could know that meanwhile Mumu had died. Saif suddenly bring out his knife from the pocket and before anything
assumption Saif stabbed the knife to the left side of the chest of Kazal. Kazal
fell to the ground with blood shedding body. Within a glance of eye Saif came
out of the hospital and got up to the car. He came to the high way with full
speed of the car. Due to careless driving the car he went down to the truck and
as a result of tragic accident he died on the spot.
Since long Badal has desire and that is so sudden that it peeped in the
mind for a moment and goes away like a running train within a moment. Even he
was unable to understand it. He never told about the desire to anybody. It is
not fact that he had no courage to tell, but he never felt desire to tell. It
was about the gent's symbol of his own. It was not also easy to tell to others.
Human being can't express all his things to everybody in all moments, and this
desire is a tremendous one among others. It is clear to everybody. Particularly
if a man is shy then it is impossible for him to tell. He can not tell under
any circumstances. This is called that it is applicable in case of a girl, but
in such particular case the thing is equal even to a male. If it is not
applicable in respect of any person then he is not human being, he is something
different. We see the example of the thing at random. A male animal can easily
jump upon back of his counterpart, but a man can not. The man has to proceed in
different way, with the resort of love. Then after a long struggle he can reach
the target. Not available to all, but in case of some. This is quite right.
Badal has thought over the matter a lot and at times he decided that he
ill no more think over the matter, but failed. This is a matter of primitivism,
not easy to wipe out This is such a thing which id expanded in all the cells of
the body, in the nerve and in blood. This is relates with the existence of the
body. It is not easy to deny it. It is irresistible, unavoidable. Not to tell
about the resistance, rather it is difficult to control. It also can not be
destroyed. What it has not done in the history? It has been demolished, fallen,
burnt to ashes and again it has been made. It has made the thing vacant and it
has made the thing filled in. It has spread bad smell and at the same time it
has spread the odor also.
Badal has no such boy friend with whom the matter can be discussed in
details, everything can be opened to him. If he could then he would throw the
load of his chest to some extent. Even he can find a way to think about the good
and bad of the matter. He thinks always alone.
At present he has become unable to determine as to whether the thought
has been mixed with the desire or the desire has been mixed with the thought
and which of them is powerful. How he will be able to know? He is now living in
an illusion. He has become a lusting animal for his continuous thought over the
matter. He thinks himself now as the dog of the rearing season, which is always
moving for sex and continuously lusting water is coming out of his mouth.
At last Badal decided that he will go. But where? He can not think about
the park. The place is worthless. Besides, doing this in an open place is an
absurdity and then where? The red marked area is the proper place for it. It is
a bit safe. If anybody sees him he will not tell as he is also the man of the
same way. Yet he became unable to take risk. He decided to when the night will
be deep and then none will be able to know the thing. If anybody can come to
know about this then this will be impossible to live in this society for him.
Then he will be unable to come out of the room if the matter is known others.
So he will have to be careful. But he will go must. He will not sleep with pain
in his abdomen. He no more make any consolation. He must make his youth of
twenty four years successful with the attachment of a female. At the same time
he himself will be burnt to ashes throwing things to the lusting desire. He
became satisfied that he could be able to satisfy his conscience.
But this appears to be a problem when he finds that he has no experience
in this play. But he was not disappointed as none would have experience before.
This will have to be achieved and he will have to do so. At first he will have
to kill a cat and then an elephant. He decided to know about this in secret. He
thought that the rickshaw puller will be the perfect man to give him knowledge
on this. The rickshaw pullers are well known about the dark world of the city
and they can move easily there.
In a deep night of one day he got up of a rickshaw of a young puller.
The road is about lonely. After long hot day now the world has started to be
some cool at the end. He became delighted with the touch of gentle breeze. He
started to talk with the rickshaw puller and at a certain stage of their
discussion he expressed his secret desire to the rickshaw puller. This was
effective. rickshaw puller gave him a good idea. He told that there are massage
parlors on the upper floor of a famous market. Many beautiful damsels are
remaining there to entertain the guests. But the matter is quite different. The
guests massage the girls more than the girls of the massage parlor massages the
guests. Here you will find happiness. Here you find peace. Otherwise who will
be that stupid who will spend his money from the pocket for this game.
He thought over the freedom of will, but like all other times he became
unable to find any solution. At the end of all imagination and thoughts he
found himself in a fine room decorated with all necessities. He seems himself
to be a prince surrounded by number of beautiful girls, or a play boy young man
of the modern age like the younger brother of Sultan of Brunei. In a very sweet
voice the song 'my heart will go on' of Selin Deon was being played in the
recorder. In the blue light of the room there were abundant photos of sharp
beautiful girls hanging on the wall. The beautiful girls are moving within the
reach of the hands. He felt a flow of happiness in his mind. He became amazed,
beyond sense with unlimited lust. He can draw any of them to him and there is
no prohibition today.
He called a girl to him and that girl for long time was seeing him
with lusting eyes to him and so she became so attached. The girl has
resourceful youth and there is attraction in her eyes. He thought that
beautiful girl will be skilled in erotic lusting art and so he handed over her
to the hand of the beautiful girl. He remained lying on the bed like dead
man and feeling the happiness he desired. After some time he also became active
and did something for the girl and she became also happy and in this way taking
and giving both of them at time went out of all the things and reached the
ocean of happiness unlimited. When they woke up then the continuation of song
has been ended, dazzling light is being fade, the beautiful girls hanging in
the wall are all laughing with out teeth like hyenas. He rushed out of the room
and thought himself very much helplessness in that moment.
But this ugly sentiment did not last long. Slowly he stared to feel
well. He thought over the matter, imagined, explained the thing and got a self
content in him. It appears a funny thing to him. His inner beastiality again
woke up. Now he is a tiger having taste of human blood. Human being is his only
prey. He came in search of prey.
And again the known world, the known face. The girl he used before tried
to be near, but when the money shall be spent for the purpose then why the old
one. He selected a new girl and attached with it the additional thing of the owner,
"this is new one! Outstanding thing!" This made the him more violent
to his desire. Of course he could not help to deny a little smile of seeing the
examining tendency of the owner. He felt for a while as to why he could not be
an owner of such sexuality center. If this would have been then he would have
the opportunity to take any of these many girls as and when he desired, and
also after some days he could remove the elders and bring the ones in his
center. How much the life would of happiness and what more happiness can be
achieved more than this?
Playing with body of the girls at last appeared to him as an annoyance.
Dissatisfaction was growing in him in respect of the body of the girls. He has
not yet achieved the final experience as he has not been yet able to enter the
heaven with his full body. This was being serious pain to him day by day. It
was normal. So near they are, but not to the end achievement. Only play up to a
certain level. No final score is allowed. The girls have their limitation of
functions. So how much only the playing with hands can be enjoyed. But he can
not control him and so he has to move to some other place.
Once he was about to complete a final achievement. Just at the final
moment the girl became afraid and pushed him out of her side and stood far. He
was also afraid. He for the first time became dismayed of throwing himself to
the hot inner of a female body and he became deprived of getting the heavenly
joy. He started to be sweating. His fear is appeared in his eyes, legs and all
over the body
A police became humorous and told -
-- 'Completely new one. See he has become a chicken out of fear'. They
would release him without delay in exchange of some money, but under combing
operation organized under the first class magistrate it was not then possible
at all. They were also sorry for Badal. But nothing can be done. So Badal
started to proceed with them through the verandah of the hotel keeping his head
down in front and then his legs were not responding well.
"All these our present dialogues will be memory within a short
time."
We can't remember when we met first. Had it been in a running train or a
bus when in the stoppage or in the burning point of the heat. Or had it been in
crowded road, noisy shopping moll or in a banquet where the light was not very
high. May be we had met at first in a devastation of a demolished house or near
a bridge under construction, where there were abundant bricks, rods, sands and
irons. May be none of these. May be we have not seen each other ever or we have
not heard each other any day. Suddenly we have faced each other. We have
reached the ovary of each other as if the entrance of Jesus in the ovary of
maiden mother Mary.
'You think over this very much. What is the benefit? From where I came,
why and how…………… are all these necessary? We have come and this is true. Let us
throw the luxury of imagination. Let us make a family, a household. You know my
cosmetics are at the point of end'.
'How much desire and frustration should we have bout a domestic and
family life. The palace of bricks combination which is standing with the pride
of hardness of castle and that will be demolished with falling salty water. We
can not deny this truth. And about your cosmetics, this will be definitely end.
The figure which it contains also come to an end one day. As if a beautiful
damsel comes to age of elderly woman.'
'Do you think the family and family life are only the combination of
bricks. Is it not that our attachment is also a family. The broken house we
shall make again. The thing which will be end shall be collected again.'
'Is it that we shall proceed like an insect? We shall end the life
sewing many torn like an efficient tailor. The thing which we shall not be able
to possess, then there will be fight for that.'
This is necessary for life. Why a man is social being? This is for the
necessity of life. If we want to survive then we shall have to follow some
conditions of life. The most important condition is to be abided by the rules
of the social being and leading a family life. You are the crop of your mother
and father's social interaction. Definitely you have not born in the forest or
not in the primitive cave. You have seen the face of the world under the shadow
of the family. You have been grown under the light and air of the family. We
are not going to the jungle to live. If we want to live in the society then we
shall have to follow this rule. Is it possible for you to remain alone?
May be or may not be able to live. We have not tried to examine this.
Suddenly you appeared like registered post through the hands of the peon and
also being an important thing. I lost everything, all my aspirations, likings,
attachments and what not? I hoped to live under the shadow of the tree. I am
not telling to be saint. I was thinking of a family of alone. But I could not.
Since it would not be then take it to be granted that it can not be in
the family as this is not normal. This has pain, frustration, failure and at
last there is perversion. The family is normal and the family life is normal.
You see, there are a lot of families surrounding us. Under this family tent
some people are remaining in social interaction. This is family.
But are they happy?
And the person who is alone is he happy?
Then why this diligence when nothing can be accrued?
If we want then we may be happy. This is the matter of our cordiality.
This is the matter of mutual understanding and consideration. This is the
question of cooperation and sympathy. I think every family of the world has the
door open to be happy. If they want then they can stand upper to everything and
be happy in life. Don't you think that we are happy?
Are we happy in true sense of the term?
But where the unhappiness of us is remaining. We have so many happiness
in this small room of ours. You and me, and we are remaining well.
Is it that we are remaining well?
Certainly we are happy.
Then why on the last night after cohabit when you were sweating then you
told that you want to be a mother, and that will be a son? What is the
necessity as we are already remaining well?
Each of the women wants to be a mother. I have the desire also. This is
not unusual or abnormal want. This is the practical reflection of the law of
the nature. This is the root of the creation, continuation of life. So you
should admit the same.
All right. I may agree with this. But who is coming shall not remain
confined. He is carrying a seed of life and that will desire to be expanded
with all its branches and leaves. Is t that day by day we shall make a dense
forest of man?
No. Not that. We shall take two only. One is for you and another is for
me. Two pieces of moon. This is an unparallel sweet dream. You shut your eyes
and see on the green ground two little charming children are running hither and
thither. What a beautiful scenery! When I think it I find my mind is full of
joy. So I see dream.
Everybody is seeing dream and in the love and illusion of the dream all
making web nets of spiders unlimited. And in this way all of them are drawing
oil mills like bullocks of the oil miller.
Why they are the bullocks of the oil millers? Is it not a
responsibility? Hen do you tell that all are the bullocks of the oil millers.
I think you will not find even one man who is happy in the family.
Is it available in the jungle?
May be not. But all these thing in life appear so meaningless sometime
that I can not even imagine. I could not find answer as to why we become
acquainted.
Here is your tea. It is never wrong to be acquainted each other. You
think, how nice the days were. If we have not seen each other then we would not
be able to find the happiness in abundant are hidden in the caves of body and
life. Had it been possible for us to know the color, taste, beauty and
everything of life are so nice.
But I think that only that knowledge was good. Now we are under the
pressure stone of the family and we are unable to find out those beauties of
life. Now You are in the kitchen and I am in the office. We have no roses and
chocolate. We are now with the cans and utensils in the kitchen and files in
the office. My God, we are remaining well!
But we can not lead our whole life riding boat of love. There are
something more that we need. The satisfaction of love is on the achievements.
Do you think we dorm a family only for sexual relation?
Many be and may not be in full. Say, a girl can not remain in the family
of her parents throughout her life. When she grows up under the rule of law
then her own necessity also grows. Then the surrounding of the family of others
can not keep her with them. She becomes in need of a new world and that is not
for only her body but there are many other purposes, many other dreams.
She can meet all her necessities in the family of her parents except
one. Then the thing stands the same.
Bodily necessity can never be all, the mind has also its own necessity.
Love and affection are also existed in the world and you can not ignore them.
Please don't be angry. You have loved me while I was in the family of my
father. You had been well then and even you had been able to meet up your love
desire of your own. The water when was sufficient for the purpose then, i9n
your words, what was the necessity of going to the deep water for bath which
may be cause of death. Of course you have not denied the necessity of the body.
But I think in order to meet only this we have arranged a big and that does not
like a wise man. Is it not fact? In fact we are all cheat having musk on the
face. The eternal chastity of love we are using for the purpose of meeting the
sexuality of life. We all, you, me and all others.
Yes, that is the thing. Because, our body want it. Is it possible for
you to remain for one night without me? Can you think of a life without
sexuality? If not then why do you try to ignore this practicality? The thing
which can not be avoided should be accepted.
We have not tried even. At least we would have doe it. From the
meaningless luxury of this arrangement we should have a try at least to
understand the thing to be failure and that would at least had a consolation of
life. Now we have not that. Immediately after evening you lit the light. I
return to the home and we become unable to see the world of night without
endless way. We are always afraid. I am afraid if I become the element of
breaching your trust. So I am very much careful in my way and the meaningless
control also makes you confined to a destination and you try to come out of this
wall bound to the practical life of dailies. You have become almost breathless.
What a farce we arrange everyday. We become serious to bring out all the dirt
of our tired body with much anger. Don't you understand that the frigidity of
our loveless sexuality are making us staged beyond our knowledge. Do you now
try to see the love we would get before with a little touch to each other
suddenly even after hard labor of our daily sexuality. In fact we don't touch
each other now with the love as it would have been done before. Can you
remember when the you have been overwhelmed to touch me. We can not remember
when the last we touched the lids of the eyes of each other. How much days it
has been that you not embraced me with the warm heart that you possess. You
have not drawn my head softly to the lap of you. Now we need darkness to inform
love to each other. Can you deny that we have gone to below in respect of our
relation? I hate this mechanical conjugation of a male and female. Rebeka, I am
not even free take enough breathe in he surrounding of your selfish interest
and confined attitude. I am hard up. I believe everybody in the world also
faces such troubles in life. They can not express. They pretend to be happy man
as this the expression of the modern society.
After many day you called me telling my name. I am feeling well hearing
my name in your mouth. Once there was time when you could not be satisfied even
telling my name again and again. You became short of breathe telling my name.
You became tired writing my name on the page of papers. Only one word and it
was Rebeka. Rafik, you have forgotten your most beloved word of your life and
it was Rebeka.
If I also tell the same thing then would be false? Then why this
deprivation? I don't understand. Why searching the mine of unhappiness in the
name of happiness. We bring our unhappiness by ourselves. Everybody does it and
then becomes repentant with ugly meaningless voices.
But do you have any alternative?
Yes. There is.
And what is that?
Let's go together catching hands of each as far as possible and we shall
never see to the back. We shall not stop for any call. We shall not see back to
any call, for love to any illusion. We shall walk throughout the world from one
side to another and shall never stop.
But what shall we eat in the way?
You have told that when you see me ten you feel no hunger and thirst.
You forget everything. I shall remain by your side.
But how you will live?
I shall beg. My shame id not so big that I shall not be able to do it.
Is it possible?
Yes, Possible.
Are you sure?
Yes.
You will not be able as everybody can not do everything. You have not
wanted anything to me even. The first thing of your desire was my heart and
that I have given to you. You were not able to claim. And these two hands, warm
of lip, strong embrace with the deepest desire of the heart, hidden chemical in
the folder of the breasts, the eternal mystery in the deepest place of the
female and all these things I have given you with my own will. You will not be
able to be a beggar, to bow down your head at the feet of others. In this place
the emotion is defeated to the practical situation. The poet who denies the
society, culture, religion and many things also becomes desirous for wealth, body
of the women, fame and reputation. In fact everything is for the life. Where
you will go? From this life to another life Survival means life. Arrangement
and increase makes the thing beautiful, increases the existence and level of
comfort. This is true in normal life.
But we are now short of breathe in the cage of life and don't you
understand that? Our emotion is dying in form of affidavit and shall we not be
afraid of the same?
Life will have pains. Human being takes this truth through birth. The
cruel slaughtering of pains are always with the eternal beauty of the life. All
mothers accept it. In fact this is the gift of life. This restlessness gives
human being the power of concept and this bring out the concept from the
surrounding of interest to world of generosity. So men find the satisfaction of
service to the human being You can find answers of thousand of questions in the
family. Why do you cover the field of heart with reason on the plea of escape.
You can stand face to face and find out the satisfaction of birth. You can save
the death of emotion under proper control. Giving space to irregularity may be
the luxury of emotion, but that can not resist death of anybody. It rather
calls the disaster. You will have to be skill. As if the skilled sailor keeps
the hull in the storm. You will have to be optimisti8c like them. You will have
to be skilled with your appliance of efficient capacity.
I do not disagree the expansion of illusion you made through your
dialogues for self deception. But do you think everything will be ended here.
Do you think all our desires come to us so easily in our life. The touch
sold consolation how much can remove all these things. The person who has not
got ask him what he has got. The reaction which you will get will take to a
complex circle and that is not farce. This is as if the beginning of the life
in the ovary in the join of cells there. How much will you be able to remain
helpless in keeping the chain of practicality. This is not so easy as we think.
May be this is not easy. So should we leave and go away. The
practicality which come through the hardness is strong based also. Even a
chicken has to come breaking the cover surrounding it. Who is not working for
the construction of the world? This is the rules of the world. The eternal
decoration will have to be preserved with utmost endeavor. Its taste is to be
taken with the sense of emotion. Here is the success of the birth. Successful
people do this. The world which you dreamt of being out of the house if becomes
the civilization created by men then you will only hear the strong sound of the
hammer. Everything remains under construction to exist. You are not any full
time. Then you can destroy yourself. But you are a part of the life a fraction
of a continuous existence, a segment of a rope for using to prey. You are only
one flower of the garland that is made with numbers of flower. You can not
excluded from there if you want. You will have to exist and you will have to
expand this eternal continuation. Where you will escape? Wherever you will go
the life ill follow you. You may be alone, but the world can not be alone. So
your exclusion is not reasonable, farce and meaningless Rather we can find our
success within the boundary of daily life. Meaningless proceeding to way means
no destination and at the same time aimless thought always means the inability
to think. If there is no destination even under the open sky then what will be
the benefit to be a helpless rabbit small in the stormy world. Is it not better
this attachment of family than this?
In fact I am telling about the luxury of this arrangement. I am telling
about our life and mortality. Since this is very short so is it not better that
there will be no luxury of arrangement. The meaningless hinterland of life
which we are making always, how much is its acceptability? Success in endeavor
is not undesirable to anybody. But this worship is being oriented to family
only and that is my worry. Are we unable to be unattached to everything? The
happiness which we shall never get to our reach then why this endeavor to reach
that?
If I tell that this irresistible desire has come from the
dissatisfaction of not getting, then will you deny this? If you would get a lot
immediately after birth, then would you be able to jump upon this fight to
achieve? And the requirement is the enormous thing to life and so human being
is willing to fill this with own endeavor. Human being knows that he will have
to go yet he can not bear any position of not having. He feels it to be
insulting. So he tries to complete his desire. The time hets to remain here
wants to submerge himself in to the abundant happiness. But he can not. Because
the lion share of the time is ended for this preparation. Yet he does not track
back. This is not his habit to be defeated. He is irresistible and competitive.
So after knowing the disaster he keeps his leg in the wrong trap and within the
same position he wants to get the desired shape of life. He does not know
whether he will be able to get or net. But tries and this endeavor is the main
thing foe his satisfaction. This is for the time being and immediately after
the burn of not getting surrounds him. He knows it and yet he continues it and
the next generation comes to his place and steps for ward for the same desire.
This is such a war where there is no final victory, rather there are number of
segments of achievements and those make the life delighted. If there would have
nothing then men would desire to back to the primitivism, where from we have come.
But we don't want. We have come forward and next advancement and then to the
present situation. When we are all come here then it is true that it is
impossible to go back as it is true that our arrival here is true.
But I think those were good to live in the caves as primitive man and to
get a bohemian delight leaving one place to another. The future without thought
and that is beyond the imagination. Only the day of everyday is true. The life
is like then the dark of night after day light. Where there is the happiness
only of the informalities. The area of concept is limited, the dynamism
of life is also limited, only the desire for food is the life. What is the
benefit of increasing the complexities of life? It brings fire in life, painful
and that burn the life at the same time. Living in the darkness of the belly
and after losing the excess of the happiness in the cleanliness of the day
light we get the graph of a painful face. We learnt the art of soft oppression
on the human body and as much we came forward we fell into the more desire. The
innocent leisure of the happiness snatched the cheat of the arrangement. We
became busy. Our body started to be covered with dress and at the same time the
heart started to be naked with all cruelties. To remain more good means the
keeping heart confined that has grown up in the free day and air and light. We
lost our own self and we became mechanical. Mechanical men stated to loss the
humanity with shuffling of the equipment. This process has brought the
human society to the stage of present situation. But can the proud man tell
that this is the peak or the peak is at the nest and they will be able to reach
there? Those who are living in the primitive level, are they very unhappy in
true sense of the term? The birds are happy in their area and also the animals
are happy in the area of there kingdom. If you tell about their insecurity then
I shall about the man as to how much they are happy in their kingdom? The
devastation of the world war has made the human being unsecured from time to
time. Besides, we are living everyday in the disaster of unsecured position of
life. You will not find such barbarism in the world of the animals. How many
animals are attacking each other in comparison to the human being? And while
doing this they are taking the resort of their silly progress, modernism in
life. Then how much we are civilized in spite of years together endeavor. Is it
that in spite of this we are still remaining in the darkness where we had
been? Is it not that we are surrounded with selfishness in the name
offamily? Does we have made the hill of pride in the name of art? And in the
name of humanity we have created the uncivilized civilization? What we have
done in the name of life?
There is no destination of these thoughts and we shall not be able to
reach there. Rather we should agree with the daily life, each day and everyday.
The light of the morning which comes to our door and kisses our empty feet
every day……….. let us accept it. Let us be delighted with the touch of white
clear and pure dew of the morning. Let us don't be tired to find out the way of
coming the buds of the mango, rather let us dream for the bud of mango.
The beginning of the winter. Your tea has become cold. Should we make
this hot?
Mansur has never told me that he has a younger sister. The name of that
younger sister is Nuri. She is very beautiful and at the same time she is very
intelligent. He name has also a little history. Since she was born at the ocean
side residence so her father became affectionate to name her as Nuri (little
stones). Mansur's father is now no more in the world. But his name is still
remaining being the name of her younger sister Nuri. The memory of the dead man
is attached with this name and also attached some dreams. Her father loved Nuri
very much.
Mansur is my friend for long time. But I don't know much about him.
Mansur has never told anything about him and I have never asked about him. He
does not like more inquisitiveness about him and know the thing I never talked
in this way. I came to know the death of his father after two years of being
introduced with him.
He would wanted to take me to their village house every year at the
beginning of the winter. But I have never been able to found leisure within the
business of this urban life. Mansur was never annoyed, but I could understand
that if I would go then he would be happy.
This year also in the same manner in the same time he requested me to go
their village house. I laughed and consented. Mansur was unable to believe.
When he could believe then kept his hand on my neck.
It was about noon
when we reached their house. The house was at the near of the ocean and having
a beautiful landscape of the house. As far as could be seen the only thing is
unlimited blue water of the ocean. Small tides and waves and on those the light
of sun has fallen, making the thing dazzling in eyes. A very fine environment
and a fine house to be proud of which. But since long we are known but he has
not told me anything. He is a man of different type.
We take rest for some time and then taking bath we had our lunch. Then
we went to the drawing room for taking rest. Everything in the room is
decorated. I could feel the existence of a girl in all the things of the room.
We had been tired and so we went to the bed and got sleep.
We woke up with the call of a sweet voice. I opened my eyes and found a
young girl, as if from the heaven. I woke up hurriedly rubbing eyes. The girl
laughed with a sweet voice making me a bit uneasy. In order to make me easy she
told -
My name is Nuri, the younger sister of Mansur Bhaiya.
I became surprised.
Seeing me voiceless she told -
My brother has never told you anything about me?
I did not answer and told her to sit. She did not sit and told me to be
fresh and then went out to bring some food for me. I got fresh and when I came
back I found Nuri standing by the side of the table and there are some food on
the table for me. While wiping hands I told about Mansur. She laughed and told
-
Don't tell about Bhaiya. He has gone to the sea side long before. He
advised me take care of you. We are only daughter and mother now in the house.
Do you feel anything bad?
I stared to Nuri. I stared deeply. In fact I found the depth of the sea
in her. I started to her the fall of the bank in my heart. Seeing this she
bowed down her head. I asked her -
Nuri, do you study? Nuri did not answer. She forwarded the food to me
and rested to eat. She told that any more late will make the food cold. I did
not ask anything. I could understand that the institutional education is not
necessary for her to be a complete woman.
After taking food we came out and it was about evening. The setting sun
was going down to the narrow line of the water border of the ocean. We had been
walking side by side. But she was keeping a little distance and this was
beautiful. We reached the bank on walking. The gentle breeze was blowing our
hair on head.
I was hearing the sound of falling wave in the heart of Nuri. Or had it
been the noise of my heart, that I could not understand. I stared to Nuri and
she laughed. Before telling anything by me she told -
I have not taken any food with you while evening. Did you mind?
I laughed and answered, no I did not mind anything. We can not be angry
upon all persons. But if you would eat then it would be a matter of joy.
I did not understand what Nuri thought about me. But she stopped like a
sudden storm. She was looking to the ground and in that position she asked -
How many days you will remain here? She was trembling in her voice.
I was normal and that condition I asked -
Did you mind if I stay for long time?
She became surprised and told -
What will be the matter to be annoyed?
I laughed and told, you will have to take care of me.
She laughed and in that there such something that it informed me that
she will not mind to take care of me throughout her whole life.
I was trembling with emotion and I became nervous with unknown fear.
I heard the love of ocean becomes disaster. Is that the love of a girl
near the bank of the sea will also be disaster? Nuri bowed head and
collected shingle. Then she took the stone on the palm of her hand, forwarded
to me and told this is the first memoir of out first introduction. I kept my
hand in the hand of Nuri and pressed a little. She remain standing bowing her
head. In that setting evening I had the desire of telling the eternal dear word
to her, but I could not. I removed my hand, the nice looking shingle came to my
hand. I kissed her.
Your name id very nice, I told her.
Your name is also very nice ….. Sagar, she replied.
I don't know how much it is beautiful, but I know you live there.
You tell nicely.
And that you tell more well.
In fact you are very beautiful.
And you i8ncrease that beauty of me several times.
Suddenly Nuri told that it was being evening. Now we should go back. We
started going back leaving the sea behind. I thought, as if, I am walking
through an urban road for time eternal. There are many stones in my way,
scattered. They are seeing me and laughing towards me. I entered my hand into
the pocket beyond sense and found the stone is still remaining there.
TWO IMAGES IN THE MIRROR OF DEPARTURE
'Far of the ocean, so distant
The sailor who lost the hull
And became perplexed
But when he sees the green grass
Within the land expected
I have seen her like this in the dark'
- Jibanananda Das
Everybody thinks that so happy we are. But I know we are not and our
attachment will not remain. Supposed to be not attached. I don't know how we
are still remaining in such way. But this will not go long and both of us
u8nderstand it. We are adults now, not innocent minors. After having dinner I
go to the bed and wait for Nira. Nira makes late a little. She needs to
complete some little household works. I don't mind for that, and nothing to
mind at all. In fact do I have anything to take from Nira. May be not. Husband
is supposed to have some necessity to his wife. Particularly the husband after
long day office work might have some requirement to wife and that necessity
will be more in the tired body. But I don't feel such necessity. The thing was
not like this before and those days are only memory to us. And me the searching
sailor of the days behind in the memory to find out the things I liked. The
boat without hull will have no destination. The luck determines his
destination.
While I was thinking these then Nira came and like everyday she gave a
glass of water. She sat by the side of me. She is tired. I drank the water in
the glass and gave the empty glass to the hand of Nira. I stared to her and
then became trembled. A gloomy shadow has covered her face. I moved as if I am
normal. Nira walked and took a glass of water. Once she would take pill at this
time everyday. She does not take it now. If she remains with me then she will
never be required to take such pill throughout her life. But there is no joy of
not eating this, rather there is some kind of joy in eating these tablets.
Nira went to the window. Her back was covered with dense of black hair
coming down to the waist li8ne. Once I had the pride of this big bunch of hair
of her. Whenever we talked then in some way I talked about the long and dense
hair of Nira. I was fond of saying this. Besides her hair she was herself very
beautiful. She is so beautiful that I was never felt bad of praising her beauty
being husband. I was profuse in using the terms of praise of her beauty.
Nira is still remaining standing by the side of the window, as if the
stone made idol. She was not being found to breathe. May be she is trying to
see the moonlight. In Dhaka city it difficult
to differentiate the full moon and dark moon. We shall have to find these
seeing the calendar. Today i9s full moon. But I think she is not aware of that.
She was standing there for different reason and at present frequently she does
these, may be she tries to make an attachment with the loneliness of the night
and in this way an internal relation with the nature. This may be the resource
of her implementing any future plan. Without spiritual power one can not be
successful in any work. Either it is a good work or a devil work. Spiritual
power is necessary for this and at the same time a mental preparation. I know
about the preparation of Nira.
Suddenly Nira turned back and laughed sweetly. She came and sat beside
me, kept her hands on my forehead, brought her face near my forehead and
kissed. In this moment I thought myself a heap of flesh and felt her kiss on
the heap of flesh. In the deep of the night the kiss is needed on the lips of
the husband not on the forehead. Then there should be more warmness than the
love, more lust than the purity. The couple which does not have like this that
couple can not last for a long period. But she did this and she has nothing
else to do.
I felt the smell of her body. It was nice sweet smell, like fresh bely
flower. I became bewildered. I was seriously felt to embrace her. But I could
not. She lifted her head. She arranged the curtain and wanted leave the place.
I Wanted to tell her something. But I was unable to tell. She put out the lamp
and went out telling me to have good sleep.
We are childless couple. We are not aged enough and in such age many of
the couple does not have or want child. But in our case we have no possibility
of having child.. We shall never be able to be father and mother. The luck has
determined our destination in this way.
Since last few months I was seeing Nira silently. She was found very
much cool, steady and peaceful. Throughout the day she is doing the work for
the family and do not tell even the necessary talk. She doing everything for me
with much cordiality, at least it appears like this. But I know this is a
preparation to get something else, something new, to go to some new life. I
could understand this stage of her preparation. But the matter was not very
much disaster for me. But I was amazed that even just before her going to the
new destination she was not leaving a stone unturned to everything necessary
for me. So cool, so beautiful and dutiful and innocent even just before her
going to leave me. How she can be able to act in this way? I remembered
all my previous and past experiences of acts and love and tried to compare with
all those with present Mira. But I failed. She appeared to me as unknown and
yet to be very known to me.
I was not being able to think more. I woke and sat on the bed. I pressed
upon the two veins of two sides of my head. Feeling much bad headache I felt
that the veins will be torn. I put on the light and drank half the jug water
and then came to the bed again. I felt a little well.
Nira was able to understand that it is not possible for her to remain
with me. Slowly the concept has now come to a concrete shape. She has fought
for a long time with the inner sense of her, both from against and in favor and
in this way she has examined the acceptability of her will in the balance bar
of the time. Ultimately she won as her conscience has given verdict in favor of
her.
Nira is very wise and a girl of cool brain. So far I know about her she
will never be hot headed. Whichever the load of problem will be she take
decision in cool brain. She at that moment think like skilled player. Moreover
she is more conscious and aware about her.
I know all her mental preparation have been completed. Now she will go.
Yet she is not going. She knows that one she will be out of this house she will
never be able to back again. Besides, I understand, she wants to remain with me
for some more days. She is in desire to give me some more attachment for some
more days. I am her husband. We have many memories, many dreams are remaining
assimilated with each other. We are still attached with each other by an unseen
rope. That bindings can not be torn so easily. None can do it. Before going
love comes with pauses, as if crying with pause and putting candle light off
with pause.
Nira will remain to me for some more days. And then in certain moment in
cool brain she will tell me everything and then shall go away. But that going
is not the all and that id also known to Nira. Love is like faithful dog and
that moves behind its master always.
Nira does not tell me anything and likewise I do not tell her anything.
There is no necessity of telling anything. Days are passing usually. I am
getting more from her than she was supposed to give, like my office peon
Motaleb is getting from me. I have never deprived him.
THE EIGHTH HELL
Allah has created seven hells and if there is one more then that will be
our office. So far I can remember the shape of our this office was not like at
present. Mutual respect, love to each other were the qualities of this office.
The leisure period was full of innocent fun. What a remarkable days were those
days in our life! But due to unknown reason the days are changed. Now there is
no crowd to take betel nuts from the container of Zafar Uncle. None makes any
hacking with the cigarettes of Mr. Malek and there was no such day when Mr.
Arif was able to take all the foods given by his wife taken by him. The fruits
sent from the rural house of Mr. Rafiq were the fruits for all in our office.
The dates sweets brought by Mr. Khalek was also the thing of appreciation. In a
word our office room was the room of a family. Now everything has been changed
slowly.
We had been working in our table like everyday on that date also. We
were making fun along with doing work. Suddenly our head of the office Mr.
Zamshed came out of the room of him by the side. Generally he does not come out
and if necessary then we are called to his room. Only when he goes out then he
goes through this room. Today at first we thought that he will go out. So as
usual we all stood up. But he did not move. Rather he stand still and laughed a
little. Then he gave a declaration which we all heard with surprise. When he
entered his room then Mr. Zafar uncle opened his mouth first. He was unable to
understand the reason of this surprising whim of the proprietor. However, it
was understood that the beauty and attraction of the office are being
increased. A new table and chair made set by the entrance door of the office
and another set like the same set at the room side of the proprietor. On a
certain day two beautiful young ladies came and occupied the two seats.
At first we became very much happy that none of us been unemployed as a
result of the renovation. We came to know that the lady took sit by the side of
the door was Miss Rakhi. She is a bit bulky, with heavy bunch of hair on head,
and having a very good figure of the body. She had strong personality and it
appeared that she is complete in sense. Ser body complexion was not very fair,
but she looks beautiful with her nice two eyes. She speaks with a resembling
voice and resonance of which rests for times. She is a graduate, comes of a
respectable family and this was her first employment, for which she was very
happy with her first experience.
Jasmin Chowdhury was placed in the room of the sir. Light figure like
bird. She is modern from top to bottom. She has polish on her long nails, some
of the part of her is dyed in the parlor. She has normal height, yet she wears
high heels and that suit her. Her face is full of personality and yet a light
innocence is always appeared. She uses soft scent. She wears appreciable dress
having high sense of taste. She also looks well if she wears sari. Her breasts
are big having a heavy buttock. All these have made her amazing. She walks
nicely and laughs in limit. In a word she is nice.
In this situation we all work hard. We had been always alarmed when we
are called in the room of sir and now it has become a matter of pleasure. If
there remains any possibility of telling something by the boss, yet none of us
cares for that. In fact going to the room of the boss means seeing the face of
Jasmin Chowdhury. A refreshment under pressure of work. A small gentle breeze
in the hot air. A boy named Karim joined few days before became famous for his
correct performance has now become the example of dependence. But at present he
makes frequent mistakes. He has to attend the room of boss and hearing some
rebuke he comes out of the room. Yet he laughs and we understand the mystery.
Our in the room of sir is limited. We think what our sir does in the
closed room. May be he lightly touches the body of Jasmin Chowdhury in the
pleas of work, may be he takes full breathe of the scent of her body and thus
they become closed. May be he kisses her someday and Jasmin Chowdhury shows
some symbols of made annoyance. Then our sir takes her to near and taking her
on his lap he teaches the physiology to Jasmin Chowdhury. His age is rather
shall be more desirous to attachment than the art of love. Learned men said
when the aged persons want love then they want the body only. Thinking upon
this makes the veins of the body strong, blood pressure becomes more. With no
attention to work Malek uncle remains staring to the beautiful lady neat the
door. Rakhi then is busy with receiver. She talking with some body and the air
is moving her body cover. At that moment something is being appeared before the
men in the office, attraction of which can not be denied by anybody. How Malek
Uncle will remain abstain from this. The young Karim marks it and laughs. I am
thinking whether Miss Rakhi is aware as to what we are thinking about her. Of
course she understands, as there is no reason not to understand. The girls are
always conscious about their body resources.
Karim is making wrong increasingly and the mentality of Malek Uncle is
very nice now. He is a smoker and now he has changed his brand. It was gold
leaf and now it is Selim. He smokes very delight. He is handsome, well dressed,
well to do and he serves for the prestige concern. He can spend money. He has
mind to spend, remains waiting for the opportunity.
The sweets sent wide of Mr. Arif now goes directly to the table of Miss
Rakhi. He laughs with all his teeth out and tells -
Madam, this sweet has been prepared by my wife. If not tasty then don't
eat. Just you will taste it and then you will understand.
Miss Rakhi at first denies and then for the sake of gentility she takes
and can nothing to do than to praise. A good thing must be praised.
Like every year Amra comes from the rural house of Mr. Rafiq.
There comes some more fruit also and all those are sent to Rakhi. We do not get
it. We do not get even the date sweet comes from the rural house of Mr. Khalek.
Miss Rakhi can do nothing. She does not want. If everybody makes pressure to
take then what she will do. She has to take it for the sake of gentility. She
is a colleague and the collogues have many rights.
Suddenly Mr. Malek declared to observe the birthday of his only son aged
four. Previous three birthdays were not observed due to many reasons. He
invited all in a descent card and our boss Mr. Zamshed Chowdhury is not also
left from the list of invitees. He agreed to go and that has a reason. Jasmin
Chowdhury herself is attending the function. Mr. Malek is very happy. Karim
makes fun and tells -
Make the items standard. Our boss is attending the function.
Some changes are observed in Miss Rakhi. She does not remain in
hesitation now. She chats with others during leisure and that makes everybody
happy. Some novelties has also come to her dress. Now she is more free in dress
than before. She was some conservative in dresses at the beginning and now she
is not like that. In our presence she rearranges her dresses with a little
laugh on the lip. She make our office delightful. Our grey lives become
colored. Now everybody of our office is oriented to office. We have become more
dynamic in our work. Our boss Zamshed Chowdhury is is happy for this. Only
Karim makes some mistakes and he is of that type.
All of us were getting preparation to participate the birthday function.
But each of us was in secret preparation. All will be available on that day in
a very delightful environment. Definitely it will be joyful. Besides, the big
boss is attending the function. It is natural that the moment will be joyous.
Jasmin Chowdhury and Miss Rakhi are also coming.
At the evening in scheduled time almost all of us arrive the function
place. The function is being well. There are some times remaining to cut the
birthday cake. Big boss has not yet arrived. May be he will go to the residence
of Jasmin Chowdhury to give her a lift to here. Jasmin Chowdhury has no car of
her own. Also this will be hard for her to come alone and to find the place.
May be the boss has taken the responsibility.
The greatness of the birthday could not be maintained. After cutting the
cake the little boy is not found. Big boss Zamshed Chowdhury becomes busy with
Jasmin Chowdhury and the rests are surrounding Miss Rakhi. Wife of Mr. Malak is
a bit conservative. She does not do anything much. Mr. Malek with surprise of
all presented a black label to our big boss Zamshed Chowdhury. Sir could
not deny as Mr. Malek may mind it.
It was night ten when the function ended. I was selected to perform the
responsibility to take Miss Rakhi to her residence. We two taxied and the taxi
started to proceed. Miss Rakhi was very tired and may be she had a bad
headache. She has passed a big joyful moment there. Suddenly she took my hands
on her lap and caught it strongly. I became surprised and after a moment I came
to the sense and allowed my hands to move through the geography of her body.
The taxi came the front of the residence and she got down. She wanted to pay
the hire charge. I forbade and giving her goodbye I wanted to proceed to my
destination. She requested me to take at least a cup of tea. I refused on the
plea that it was high night. I gave her word of honor that I shall have tea
another one day. She left the place and the taxi started to go the residence of
my own. I bend towards back on the seat and thought if the man would have been
other one, even if it was Zafar Uncle, then he would also do the same.
Karim one day without call entered the room of the boss and became
shattered. Jasmin Chowdhury is then sitting on the lap of the boss and two
hands of our sir are busy with the two breasts of Jasmin Chowdhury. Boss was
searching something hiding his face to the neck of Jasmin Chowdhury. He became
in a fix seeing Karim. Karim by this time was out of the room. He resigned from
the service out of fear. He has not told us anything, but we could understand
the thing. After some days Jasmin Chowdhury became in need of some days' leave.
May be she will be required to stay in any nursing home for some days. I was so
fool that suddenly I went to Miss Rakhi and asked -
Is the abortion very risky?
The whole matter was so nasty that I was feeling vomiting at that night
and at last after doing vomit I could get some relief in mind and body. I
thought that I have given up all my sins and ugliness like an of abortion in
the shelter of devastated resort. I was then feeling a bit lively and in the
corner of the mind the existence of the perversion in its natural
characteristics was telling to me that the thing is actually like this and this
is not very bad. These sort of incidence in human life is not absurd. Many
thing happen in human life. But my conscience was then became strong to such
extent that all other aspects of sense were not being able to cope with the
thing. When I joined with it then I could find out that I am waiting in a
dirty prison for getting purity, which will come through shame and punishment.
In fact I wanted a punishment. Whichever this would be I shall never disclose
this thing. But the journalists made so strong cross examination that at last I
decided to tell everything openly. They were telling me again and again that
the whole matter is the sore of the civilization and this was a result of the
same and this has something as lesson, for which rhis should be disclosed
before the public in details. But I was sure that they want to disclose this
matter into their newspaper as this will make the newspaper more attractive to
public and I know generally they do it. At the same time I know that the people
will learn nothing from this. Rather they will find a new way of perversion and
in this way will also achieve some happiness and I will be again a criminal for
the second time. But that brings no result. The matter became so sensitive that
my statement was evaluated respectfully with good amount and that was helpful for
me for the reason that I was able to engage a lawyer with the fund I got from
the statement to the journalists. Thus I had the way of defending my case with
a lawyer. Besides, this was amazing to me to describe and at the same time
there was some heroic approach in telling this. However, at last I consented to
disclose the matter to a well marketed daily newspaper.
Now I shall tell something as introduction. It may be told that my
position was good where I would live. I was associated with teaching profession,
i.e. I was a teacher and that was a respectful profession. I can tell this for
the reason that whenever I would have been out then the students would respect
me and at the same time the guardians also would give me salam as a sign of
respect. Some of them also invited me to talk with them and when I responded to
their invitation then they would feel obliged getting opportunity to talk with
me. At that they would invite me to have some food with the things those were
already on the table. I would always refuse the same with most respect to him
and always told them that in the near future whenever I would get time I would
come to eat. The would be satisfied with this, at least this would appear in
their faces. In this way I had been better in my position.
The best thing was that I was trusted by everybody. So every year
students of the higher classes would have been sent for the competitive
examination under my responsibility. I would take all of them to the town with
my own responsibility and did all necessary things required for them happily.
They would do well in the examinations and that would add more respect to my
position. People of the area were confident upon me and with that confidence I
passed days in that place with a considerable respect. But at a certain stage
this appeared as meaningless to me. I was without attachment of woman. My
lonely life appeared to me as a load of stone. Yet I tried my level best
to continue my responsibility to the students as far as possible. In fact I had
nothing more to do. After death of my wife I became a little indifferent to the
life. All the domestic materials were covered by dirt for want of my attention
to clear the same. But I never felt to reorient my life again, rather I would
go to the town and handed over my body to the prostitutes for my body
satisfaction. In this way my life proceeded to the way of perversion and that I
knew. Practically I was a palace which was waiting to be devastated, though
appeared to be all right in all sense. So the incident that happened that can
not be described as an accident, rather it was a normal expression of my
desire. My heart became the rest place of the satan, a hell. This was so ugly
being dirty that there was no way than to be relieved of the same after getting
bath in the purity.
The matter in the next year was different in type. Only one girl was
considered to be fit for the competitive examination that year. Like every year
I came to the town taking her. I hired a room in a hotel where there was two
beds. The student became very much happy with this arrangement. She has never
been passed a night before in the town. She was also happy as she was able to
come with her dear teacher. She had confident that she will be successful. In
that night I found a separate existence in him. When she was reading books
bending her body on the table then I discovered that her two breasts are about
to be matured. She was well in her body construction with good health. She
appeared to me as a youthful damsel. When I was thinking like this staring to
her then she was making all her readings and lessons well organized for the
examination. At last I could not remain peaceful. I advised to prepare her
lesson and I went out for a moment telling her not to think about me. She
allowed and the hotel personnel all were known to me for which I was able to go
out keeping her alone in the hotel. When I returned then I found she has almost
completed her task. When I returned she slept and she did not want to know
where I had been for so long time. This was the first time that the hired woman
was not of my satisfaction. I though after even some mad cohabit with the hired
woman I am not satisfied and I was feeling uneasy with my body. I was not even
being able to concentrate my thoughts over any matter. Again and again my wife
came to my mind. She was extremely beautiful. Her body was a garland approach
with lusting attraction. She was beautiful and that was known to her and to her
pride she expressed with false posture, and that was also fitted to her. In a
word she was a beautiful lusting woman. In the dream of the life she always
spread her like lotus before me. The secret scent that remained within her came
out and smelled the whole room to my satisfaction. She was very wicked in the
bed. She would made her two thighs strongly tied to each other and told me
something in the way that would make me mad to rush upon her. I did that.
With two strong hands I opened her two thighs and entering my mouth there I
sucked the honey from there which would make her telling and pronouncing
something loudly with no meaning. In the most lusting moment she would tell
such thing which a man or woman can not tell in normal condition. In fact she
became a bird with arrow of lust in the bed, as id she had been waiting for
death with the torture of her dearest. I also made her mad with all my actions
on her body. As if we had fight and equal we had been then. She would get touch
all over her body in different position. There was no place in her body that
was hatred to me I had free movement in her body from vagina to anal. She
became then an eruptive volcano with the satisfaction of lusting enjoyment. She
became so much satisfied with my torture that at some moment I would be tired
with her satisfaction also. She had need of several attachments and at first I
was at my last limit and than I was able to habituated with her. I tortured her
with emotion and with turmoil I could be able to bring the sweet in her for my
satisfaction. We had then over sweated then and sometimes we would go to the
pond to get bath. What and how much nice were the days? I was not able to think
more and at times a got sleep when I don't know.
In the morning the student was seeing the important chapters for the
last time. I got ready and then got our break fast. She did not eat much. This
is normal, so I did not press upon her. I took her to the examination hall and
leaving her to there I started loitering on the road of the town aimlessly. I
passed a long time with such meaningless thoughts and at the stipulated period
I appeared to the main gate of the examination hall. She came out with smiling
face. I felt well and became happy. She was telling different things on her
examination and I pretended to hear her. But I was not hearing anything. Just I
had a look on the question paper and then somehow we came to our room. After
lunch we again went to the examination hall. I spent time sitting on a bench at
the corner of the school ground. I felt no desire to travel the town road
again. I was deep in different thoughts. My student came out of the examination
hall when the day was about to be end. The sun shine was being out and darkness
was coming slowly to the earth. We came back to our place and got wash and sat
to our place to get a refreshment of mind. When she was tired of the
examination then I was tired with my utmost lusting desire and I was at the
point of being sick. In all my veins the heat is entering and that is bring the
temperature of fever in my body. The presence of that little girl with all her
resources of the body was making overwhelmed me in my sense and body. Right at
that time an opportunity came to me. The tired young girl told me that she has
been suffering from bad headache. As if I caught the words and hurriedly I
moved to her side. I kept my hands on her head and told that -
This is normally held after examination. Always the examination is a
stress.
Since she was feeling well with the touch of my hands so she did not
stop me. I also thought that she has understood the desire of my mind and also
it revealed to me that since she is silent so she has the consent to my desire.
In a soft way I picked her to my lap nd silently se was taking my healing. I
was then so dam care that I even forgot my position for a while at least and as
a result in the drunkard emotion I kept my hands on the breast of her under the
dress. At first she was unable to understand. But when I brought the apple like
breast totally in my hands and pressed strongly the she loudly made a sound. I
became embarrassed and being stopped I told her to sit with her lesson. She did
not see me, she started reading her books. I could understand that she has lost
her attention. An unknown shadow I found in her face and in that shadow the
shade of fear was the main. It was apparent. I picked a newspaper and started
throwing my attention on the page. This was a matter of hiding myself under
something and that was a failure.
We went to the bed early on that night. Within a short period she went
on sleep as she was very tired. Before her going to bed she drank a glass of
water in which I had mixed some chemical, so that she may have a deep sleep
like a dead person. After her getting sleep I moved slowly to her bed and going
there I took a look sitting on the bed. The warmness in the pinching cold of
winter gave me such comfort that I felt more comfort than first of my life in
the bed with wife. Very slowly I made all her dresses off from the body and in
the same way I did it to me. I then took her body strongly to my chest and pressed
upon on the breast with my utmost desire and lust. At first I kept her for some
time to my body as if the penniless person has found the wealth limitless.
Thereafter I started the primitive game I touched her full body with my tongue.
As if, she was a wet chocolate and that is to be part in a moment. I threw the
rapper from the body, made her thigh wide spaced and then using a torch light I
started to see the deep corner of the cave. I saw the flourished vagina of the
girl. I was then in illusion of seeing the eights surprise of the world. She
was deeply sleeping.
Even the beauty of the Tajmahal can't be seen more than one tenth of the
second of minute. But I remained standstill seeing the mystery of the vagina
and I am the who is rich of seeing many of the thing throughout life. In fact I
liked to touch the most desired place. The black hair surrounding the vagina
was making a hallucination of beauty. I was touching the place very softly. The
velocity of such touch was taking me to a place unknown to me. Without
returning my eyes I found another mystery just beneath the vaginal door. A
small door was also there. The second entrance gate. Drop of water dropped down
from my tongue on white bed of that night. I kissed the place. This is the
highest secret place of the woman and then I started sucking the wet anal of
the girl For how may time this was going on was not known to me and again and
again I knocked the secret door of the body, tried my level best to get
response, but without getting any response I stopped at last. When I came to
the sense then I found her to be senseless. I shacked her again and again but
could not get any response. I did not became surprise and I myself declared me
to be the killer of her. Then in a very quite state of mind I placed her
properly on the bed and came out to stand under the wide open sky.
I found the neon signs around me. These light were then trembling with
the mystery of the winter. Fog are all around me like a cloth so thin and
white. In the midnight and
remaining on the way I could not think me anything more than a killer. I was
trembling with cold while I was walking by the side of the road. I saw a man on
the way suddenly. I saw a cigarette burning in his hand. This is the first time
I became willing to smoke a cigarette. I took a cigarette from him. He lighted
the cigarette lighter and put fire to my cigarette and started to proceed. I
called him back and told him that -
I have committed a murder.
He thought me a mad and went away. Then I started to walk towards the
police station.
Zafrul is a son of an influential family. But he is a beat foolish type.
When he talks then the present persons laugh. Even though the version might be
wise. His standard has come to this position. Small children also make fun with
him. He does not mind. This can be understood seeing his smiling face. But it
can also be understood that in the deep of his heart the touch of pain he
feels. He tries to remain normal through accepting everything.
His wife Runa is also a girl of an influential family of nearby village.
She is not highly educated. Before her marriage there was many rumors about
her. But the village people took it in there mind in the way that this can be
happened to a girl of a well to do family. So the people do not bother more
about it. Father of Runa can understand that this daughter will be a trouble
for him. So without making any delay he arranged marriage of Runa with the son
of an influential family of nearby village and this boy was Zafrul.
Without any troubles the marriage becomes solemnized. Zafrul is very happy
getting a wife. He is not a man to think over much about the past of his wife.
He hears many things about his wife. He does not care and thinks that
what it will be to him with the opinion of others. He thinks that Runa is now
his wife, the queen of his heart. Runa loves him. He can remember the first
night picture in the mind. He becomes ashamed to himself. Runa was not very
sufferer in that night. He was not of that standard to understand this mystery.
Day passed and after a year a baby came to the lap of his wife. Very beautiful
baby. Many men tell many things, but he does not care. He takes the son to his
lap and he loves the baby very much. Now he loves his wife more than before.
She is now the mother of his son.
Day passes and Runa also becomes changed. He becomes angry every now and
then. She makes the damages. She becomes undisciplined. Zafrul can not
understand the reason of this change of Runa. He tries to console her, but Runa
does not care. She is not satisfied. Foolish Zafrul an not reach the deep point
of pain of Runa. He can not understand the shadow of dissatisfaction on the
face of Runa.
But the sign of dissatisfaction appears to eyes of another
persons. They can understand as to where the pains of dissatisfaction of Runa
lies. They have unlimited desire to remove the dissatisfaction of Runa. But
they will have to wait for the call from her. The hungry tiger can jump upon
its prey when he wishes. But men can't do that. He needs to wait for the proper
moment.
The nights become intolerable to Runa. The palm of hands, the feet burn
to ashes. She takes water from cold earthen pot. But she does not get relief
from the burn of the body. She remains in the bed like burnt ashes. In such
situation she becomes pregnant again and at times she becomes mother of another
baby. But Runa can not be satisfied with the baby. This baby appears to her as
the thorn of poison. She left the baby without any love and affection. Zafrul
takes the baby on his lap, gives all his affection to the baby. Runa becomes
more dissatisfied. She think to go far leaving all these things.
But the dream of her remains dream only. She thinks that she will bear
any crop of love of Zafrul. She undertakes a permanent solution on the plea of
family planning. Zafrul does not mind. He is satisfied with his two sons. But
yet he had a desire for female baby. But the desire can not be fulfilled and
even he is unable to tell it to Runa.
Now Zafrul remains afraid of Runa. Runa did not talk against the opinion
of Zafrul before. But at present he tell whatever she likes to tell. Zafrul
becomes afraid to the thought that may be Runa now is thinking to leave him.
Zafrul never wants that. He loves Runa. It was a very hot night on that day.
The rural area had no electricity facility. Runa was using a hand fan to be
cooled in body. She became angry seeing Zafrul in a deep sleep even in such
heat. She pronounced a bad word for Zafrul, which is mist insulting for a male.
Then she came out of the room almost in open body. She was using the hand fan.
The time had no noise. The place was lonely. The trees are standing like dead
once. The flow of the air could be felt, even not a leaf of the tree was moving.
She heaved a shy of relief. She saw herself in the small moonlight. A
felt a limitless sorrow in her heart. She felt that her life has been damaged
and it is meaningless. She made Zafrul responsible for her miserable life.
Zafrul never cares for her health, he will never do it and he is unable to do
this. Then is it that she will remain dissatisfied throughout her life?
She was unable to think more. She was being attacked with bad headache for the
heat of the air. She pressed her head with two hands.
Right at that time some one moved a little distance. She became a bit
afraid and when she heard the noise of cough then she could understand the man.
She came out of fear. What Malek is doing here in this high night? But she
could understand the thing within a moment. Malek came to her near and told
that -
So serious hot the air! I was being unable to sleep. I thought to walk
in the outside. So, you are also being unable to get sleep in this hot weather?
Runa became unable to answer the question of Malek. She was seeing another
dream then. The coldness of her world then is calling her with the sigh of
hands. She understand the target of staring of Malek where is still. In the
moonlit night she appeared a goddess in his eyes. He was seeing without a glance.
Runa talked at first. She managed her dress and stood up. She caught the
hand of Malek and told -
Let us walk for a while. I am just feeling suffocation.
There was place at a little distance from the room. The place is covered
with straws. None can tell who was the first to start the game. But it happened
and Runa thought that this was her first time that she could be satisfied. This
was a complete satisfaction. When returned to the room with her cool body then
also Zafrul was sleeping.
Steadily the number of lovers increase. Two friends of Malek also comes
one by one. Runa is now complete with delight and comfort of life and she
started to be changed in her behavior. She started to love Zafrul again. Zafrul
is not supposed to think over this critical matters. He started to be felt
himself satisfied again. He brings many things from the market for Runa. This
his happiness. The babies are now more affectionate than before to Runa. In
fact she is very happy now.
In one night Zafrul awakes from sleep. He finds that Runa is not in the
bed. He came out of the room. He thought that may be Runa has come out of the
room for her own personal necessity. He also goes forward for his purpose.
While he was going to sit by the side of the heap of straws then a hissing
sound came to her ears. With the utmost surprise he found Runa with open back
full of hairs and completely with naked body, and also a naked male person has
embraced him like an octopus. The place is a little dark. He could not identify
the man behind Runa. He came to the room and got bed. He brings consolation in
mind that he has not seen anything. And whom he has seen was not Runa. May be
the shadows are embracing each other. Her Runa cannot be like this.
Malek and his friends have desire that they at a time will have a game
with Runa. They want to taste the bursting beauty of Runa one by one and they
will see how much Runa can withstand. He became satisfied with perversion
thinking the night when this will happen. Runa was never defeated by any one
person. This time they will make a devastation on the body of Runa. They will
torn the body like dogs. Thinking this they make the last smoke in the ordinary
cigarette.
They hit upon a plan. They encouraged the village boys to see VCR one
night. The cost of such event is realized from all and the lion share is given
by them. None can understand that there is plan behind it.
Runa arranged food for all at that night early. Two sons of Zafrul have
become very much eager that they will see the VCR by the side house. Zafrul
agreed. He also desire in mind to see the VCR. He told Runa to eat, but Runa
did not eat. Zafrul did not press upon, this the matter of mind disposition.
In the midnight
Zafrul became fond of sleep. He stood up to come to the house. The boys were
seeing the VCR without any glance of eye. They were very much enjoying the
fighting sequence of the film. So Zafrul started to the house alone. The
door of the room was closed from inside, but he hears some sound inside the
room. He became angry and called Runa loudly. But Runa did not hear. She is
then within the last moment of her satisfaction and in such moment none can
hear and none can come out. Malek was then pressing her with his chest as
forcefully as possible. They were now floating on the ocean of satisfaction.
Two other friends of Malek set them free in that position and went out. Runa
became more serious and she embraced Malek more strongly. Malek can not
withstand the strong attraction. He surrendered himself to the attraction. A ball
of fire from the body of those two suddenly comes out and at the time of such
extreme point of satisfaction an unknown sound spreads. That sound is of none
other. This was the last sound of Zafrul.
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